Asher: 9 years old

One seriously handsome boy

Looking serious

If I'm lucky, I will finish this entry for Asher by the time he's 10.

Asher is a curious and smart boy. He can seem incredibly insightful in one moment, and totally clueless the next. We have all kinds of interesting conversations- about racism and stereotyping; about sex and relationships; about friendships- where I think he is really getting and understanding how life works. Or occasionally he will ask a question, like "Why do they have a tent in the parking lot at the shopping center?" to which I will say, "I think it's to sell fireworks for the 4th of July," and to which he will then reply, "No. I think it is to house slaves so they can work at DSW and Mad Mex."

He is the most helpful of my children. He is an excellent cleaner and organizer, and won the "most likely to be clean" award at camp this summer. He's usually willing to participate in chores and cleaning up around the house, but in part because he knows he will likely be rewarded for his help after the fact. He loves to make money, and has managed to get himself over $100- I think partly through doing chores, and partly he's skimmed off the top of his less attentive siblings (although he would be very angry at me for saying that). He has an eagle eye when it comes to details, and he is our #1 go-to when we can't find something around the house.  Sometimes we pay him for that, too.

Asher opened a checking account with all his hard-earned cash

In school, Asher seems to most enjoy math and science. He doesn't love to read, and I have to beg him to get in all of his reading time. As a result, his spelling isn't especially strong, either. We had an incident this past year in 3rd grade where Asher was found cheating on his spelling tests- he had been writing out his words in advance and hiding them under his arm so he could look at them during the test. Eric and I were extremely unhappy when we heard from his teacher. Asher said he was concerned that he wouldn't get a perfect score on his test; we told him that we would rather a lower score than cheating. Later, Asher and I practiced his words the night before the test, and he got a perfect score without cheating. While Asher is usually the best behaved of the kids, when he makes trouble, he can make it big time.

Still my best sleeper by far

Over the school year, he made some friends who he actually wants to see over the summer. It doesn't seem like the kids have split into cliques at school yet, which makes me happy. Asher has a variety of friends, and seems to really like having girls as friends, too. He told me he had a crush on a girl this year, but I promised not to tell a single person, not even Eric- I want to make sure he keeps telling me these things as he gets older!

Ready to run the 1 miler for his school

Asher likes to be active, and this spring tried flag football, after playing basketball through the winter. He is fast and I think has some natural ability, but rarely practices so isn't the top performer on his team. That is ok with me, I don't need to be sports crazy at our house! He also likes to play video games whenever he is allowed, which makes me nuts. To me it is a waste of a day to be playing a video game when the weather is perfect and they could be outside.

At his bake sale

Asher also likes to help in the kitchen, especially with baking. In the spring he held a bake sale outside our house and raised some money for the Kitty Cottage, a cat shelter near us. He likes to pick out new recipes for us to try for dinner, and when we do, he usually eats whatever we make. He is pretty adventurous when it comes to savory foods, but still keeps his distance from anything fruit-related. His diet is still 90% carbs, but he does eat meat and vegetables. His packed lunch is almost always carbs + carbs + carbs, and of course he is hungry and cranky at the end of the day. It is a struggle to get him to eat nutritious foods outside of our homemade dinners.

He also sneaks treats when we aren't paying attention. one night I went to tuck him into bed and heard the crinkle of a wrapper- he had hidden a bag of Girl Scout cookies in his bed and said he was eating one a night as his "bedtime cookies." We also find wrappers hidden around the house and in his drawers.

Still a snuggler

Asher is still a snuggler, but has definitely stopped asking for as many hugs and snuggles as he used to. I was worried sending him away to camp would put an end to things, but fortunately he still likes to be close, and will hold my hand while we walk places (how many years before I look back to read this and mourn the loss of our hand-holding? And why do I feel the need to prepare myself for sad things well before they happen?).

Asher also likes to use my phone to take pictures, and has a pretty good eye. He takes pictures when we are out at Chanticleer gardens, and recently took pictures when I took him to Eastern State Penitentiary with a friend. He also will take a series of selfies with him making an ugly face, stick one beautiful smile in the series, and finish with ugly face. What a nice surprise to find on my camera roll!

In the stocks at Williamsburg

I am sure there are a million things about Asher I haven't included here. He is generally a charming, likeable boy. He has excellent social skills, and is excellent company. He's active and energetic, and is mostly sweet, kind, and thoughtful. We never hear a bad word about him from anyone (he saves all of his misbehavior for us). I promised him I would publish this tonight, since my mom brought it up in front of him and pointed out how delayed the post is!

June

What a month we had! Between summer activities, end-of-year, vacation, and off to camp... it was crammed from start to finish. I wanted to maximize our summer opportunities before both boys went away for 3.5 weeks at camp, so we were busy every weekend. We put many miles on our minivan.

Charlotte in her lemonade dress with the princesses

June 1: Alex's Lemonade Stand. We went to this community event when the boys were little, but it is much more fun now that all 3 kids are in school. We know most of the people there, and everyone has a group of friends to play with. Charlotte takes off, and this year I couldn't find her for an hour (45 minutes of that hour I wasn't worried; 15 minutes of that hour I was panicked). Benjamin prefers to stay with a parent, but that is progress, because 2 years ago he refused to attend altogether.

ice cream treat

June 2: My parents took us to see a children's play of "Treasure Island." After the play we went out for dinner at the same restaurant where I had my bachelorette party. Times have changed. After dinner we got ice cream from an old-fashioned ice cream shop nearby. We had lovely weather, and then it poured the moment we got in the car.

Asher with a mouthguard and medal

June 8: Asher's final day of flag football. Asher signed up this year for flag football, having never played before. He really liked it, and played hard. He is pretty fast, but his throwing and catching could use some practice. His team ended up winning their final match and they got a special medal for their win. He now wants to play again in the fall.

The beautiful ballerina

Charlotte and her carpool mates

June 8: Charlotte's dance recital. Charlotte made it through a year of dance! Her school put on a lovely recital, which my mom and I thoroughly enjoyed. Charlotte and her classmates danced to a medley of songs from Mary Poppins. She smiled the whole time! She is unsure whether she will do it again next year, but I am hoping she will.

delicious strawberries

June 9: Strawberry picking. I took the kids to pick strawberries on Sunday morning. The fields were empty, the air was cool, and the strawberries were ripe. We had strawberry-rhubarb crumble for dessert that night.

last day of school

June 14: The last day of school. The kids only had a half day. I was at a conference in Philadelphia, but was able to take the train out of the city in order to pick them up. I had a big surprise planned...

It's me in there!

I dressed as a dinosaur to meet the kids as they left the school building. They all seemed surprised. Charlotte laughed, and then burst into tears. Benjamin laughed while he cried. Asher pushed me out of the school yard. 

My friend took this picture. I look like I am going to eat my son.

here's a picture of the kids posing in front of the Marvel Super Heroes picture

June 15: Daddy got tickets to a marvel super hero exhibit at the franklin institute. There were old fashion headphones.

At the Governor's Palace

June 17-21: Family trip to Williamsburg. We took a 4-day trip to Williamsburg, Virginia. This the farthest south the kids have ever been! We started in the late afternoon on Monday with a little bit of touring around Colonial Williamsburg, and then headed to our hotel for happy hour and a swim. On Tuesday, we spent an entire day at Water Country- I have no pictures because I left my phone in the car the whole time.

Benjamin was initially fearful of the rides, but with some "incentives," he was able to let go of the fear and got on all the rides. It turns out that he does like rides! The lines were short, whether it was because it was a Tuesday or because thunderstorms had been predicted, but we got to go on every ride we wanted to try.

The sky train at Busch Gardens

On Wednesday we went to Busch Gardens for the day. Again, lines were short and we got to go on everything! Except for Charlotte, who was too short for most of the rides she wanted to go on. We were getting ready to leave, and planned to take the sky train across the park. It started to drizzle as we were waiting for our train cars to come. Eric and the boys got on a car and started to travel across the park, and a big buzzer sounded- the ride was now closed! Charlotte and I didn't get to go, and we had to walk to the exit. 

On our way out

On Thursday we went back to Colonial Williamsburg. It was very hot, and we were wilting in the heat. Eric seemed to be wilting worst of all, so we didn't get to do nearly as many things as I had wanted to do. 

Benjamin at the gunsmith. You can get a custom gun for $20k.

Our family at the courthouse

From there we began the long drive home- long because we got stuck in hours of rush hour traffic around D.C. We ended up stopping at a rest area for dinner, and the kids wanted Wendy's. Every time we stop at Wendy's on a road trip, we have a terrible experience and I swear that we are never stopping there again, and every time we travel, I stop. When will I learn?

Margate, NJ

June 22: Day at the beach. We drove to Atlantic City for the day to go to the beach with friends. We had perfect weather. The kids played in the sand and flew kites. I tried to teach our friends' daughter to boogie board, and we relaxed. All of my children got a sunburn because I let them put on their own sunscreen. 

Charlotte the sand mermaid

Splashing in the waves

Charlotte and Maddie

We then went out for dinner and ice cream and drove home to watch the sun set over Philadelphia.

The half-birthday unicorn

June 23:  Charlotte's half-birthday party. For reasons I can no longer recall, I told Charlotte she could invite her kindergarten classmates over for a half-birthday party. It was pretty simple- they played on the slip n slide and had a water balloon fight, and I ordered pizza and made an ice cream cake. The day was hot and sunny, and they seemed to have fun. But really, did I need to do that? Eric was gone all day on a bike ride and I had to pack the boys for camp at the same time.

June 26: Boys to camp. We drove the boys up to overnight camp early on Wednesday the 26th. Benjamin had been very anxious about it a few months prior, but seemed pretty calm and unworried when we drove up. I went with him to unpack, and Eric went with Asher. We made beds, met counselors, and then said our goodbyes. I don't think anyone cried, but Eric was definitely the most worried about it.

Benjamin and Tiggy in their bunk

We got a call that Friday afternoon saying that Benjamin had settled in well, was having a great time, and wasn't homesick at all. We can see pictures online, and he looks like he is active and engaged. We assume Asher is also having a great time. Two more weeks before we see them.

Ice cream treats

June 28-30: visit from Aunt Elana and Uncle Alec. Elana and Alec came up to escape the city heat in D.C. We spent Saturday at the pool at my Aunt Jane and Uncle Ed's, and then had ice cream before it stormed. On Sunday Elana and I went for a jog, and then they ran errands and I packed Charlotte up for camp. 

 June 30: Charlotte to camp. Charlotte went to 5 days of Girl Scout camp about an hour away. She got very nervous before we went, but she seemed to settle in when we dropped her off. She is now home again, and says it was so-so. I think she had a lot of fun, but did miss us at night. She's non-committal as to whether she will go back again next year, and I am happy to have her home. Although Eric and I had 5 days without children and it was very quiet and relaxing, I missed the noise and mess of children.

That was our month! July will be much more laid-back, thank goodness. 

Benjamin: 9 years old

My cutie pie in the snow

While I never thought I would survive the first 12 months of the boys' life, now the years speed past. The boys are more than halfway through their time at elementary school, and halfway through their time as minors. I mentioned to my mom that they are halfway to 18, and she said, "I hope you enjoyed the first 9 years, because it's all downhill from here!" Thanks, Mom.

At 9, Benjamin is still a sweet and and affectionate. I still get hugs in public, and he will even hold my hand. He requests snuggles, even if he is wiggly with bony elbows.

sweet face

Benjamin is a dedicated and serious reader. He has an amazing memory for the things he reads, and so has gathered all kinds of information about science and history that I don't have any knowledge of myself. Due to his reading, he has an extensive vocabulary, and gets the hardest spelling words of any 3rd grader I've ever seen! He even helped correct my spelling the other day while he was reading over my shoulder. At school he is inconsistent in his attention, and tends to devote himself to only the things that interest him. This means some weeks are better than others. He seems to easily understand everything that he is taught, but runs out of energy for test-taking and report-writing.

He has made a close friend at school this year, and he and this friend seem to genuinely and mutually enjoy their time together. Through this friend, Benjamin has developed an interest in collecting sports trading cards, and in knowing some sports statistics. Benjamin still likes to carry Tiggy in his pocket and tries to sneak him to school- so we pat him down almost everyday. Tiggy has a tendency to go missing, most recently for a period of 3 weeks! Benjamin was crying every night about missing him, and then one day, Charlotte spotted Tiggy in another kindergarten teacher's hands! How he got back to kindergarten remains a mystery, but it was a joyful reunion.

Benjamin has also had some social struggles at school- he has a classmate who he seems to clash with at all times. Benjamin hasn't always behaved the best; we got one call from the vice principal that Benjamin had kicked this boy in the leg over a wall-ball argument. But the boy has continued to pick on Benjamin. We've had to have conversations about choosing friends, letting things go, and of course, not using violence to solve interpersonal problems. Later in the year, Benjamin was able to reach out to the vice principal to help him solve problems, which is preferred to kicking.

His speech is also a work in progress- he gets speech at school, and has improved his pronunciation of many things, but is still working on his "r," which is apparently one of the more difficult sounds to master.

Benjamin's Thanksgiving cartoon

Benjamin has developed a love for sarcastic comics- he started with Calvin & Hobbes and has moved on to Zits, Garfield, and Get Fuzzy. He has a very mature sense of humor. We also have love to watch some of my favorite movies from my childhood, like The Money Pit and Spaceballs. His giggle is infectious, and I love hearing him laugh.

His love for video games continues unabated, much to my frustration. He will sneak any electronic device that he can, and I have to keep my computer and my cell phone locked at all times. He is a pretty good typist, but we keep him from typing his schoolwork because he tends to get distracted by all the other available programs on a computer.

He also has an interest in war and weapons, and reads books about various wars and battles (of which I have no knowledge), and remembers everything that he reads. I remember when my cousin's son had a similar fascination, and he is now headed off to West Point next month, so I suppose it led to a productive outcome.

One of the several hundred selfies Benjamin has taken with my phone

Benjamin's anxiety seems much better over the past two years. Two years ago he couldn't bear to be at big school parties, and now he enjoys them, but needs (or prefers) a parent close by for reassurance. He has also tried many new things, and eagerly took on a role in our synagogue's Purim spiel. The rehearsal for the spiel gave us lots of Mommy-Benjamin time, which we enjoyed. One day we had the opportunity to go to the Philadelphia Auto Show, and we loved it!

Trying out a fancy car

Benjamin is still the best eater of all of my kids. He prefers dinner foods for breakfast, so he often eats leftovers, or I will make him a grilled cheese or hot dog. Many mornings he will open the fridge and stare into it before declaring, "There's nothing I want in here!" He is also the least likely (which isn't the same as completely unlikely) of the children to sneak candy and treats, which I appreciate.

Snuggling

Benjamin will be going away to overnight camp this summer for the first time. He is anxious, but has been working with his therapist to get ready. Eric promised him a trip to a video game virtual reality experience the day he comes home as a reward to seeing it through, so he is holding on to that to get him through his time there. 

He has also become a pretty decent swimmer and can swim enough to pass the deep water test. He isn't interested in sports, but enjoys art of all kinds. I don't need him to be an athlete, I just want him to love what he does, be kind to others, and love himself as he is. 

The boys turned 9! (two weeks ago)

Our family on the boys' birthday

I will write their individual posts, but wanted to reassure whatever few readers remain that my boys did turn 9, and I did celebrate them.  The celebrations began with a birthday party with about 20 friends from school, at a local sports venue. We had their party there last year with a nerf battle and a round of laser tag, and the laser tag was far and away their favorite part, so this year it was 2 laser tags with pizza and cake in the middle.

Benjamin got a Tiggy cake and Asher got a rabbit

Eric was hesitant about playing the first round of laser tag, but I made him. I stood outside and watched, and what did I see but one 6'1" child running around and shooting 3rd graders like it was WWII and they were Nazis. Laser tag ended and Eric proudly came out and told me that he scored the most shooting points of anyone. I was patting myself on the back- we had enough pizza and cake (unlike Charlotte's party in January), everyone seemed to be having a pretty good time.

Asher and his cake

We went to play the 2nd round of laser tag, and I joined in as well. About halfway through, one of Asher's friends came up to me and told me that Charlotte was crying and looking for me. I found her covering her eye, so I pulled her out of the room into the light to see what was happening, and saw that she had blood all over her face. She'd split her eyebrow on someone's laser tag vest. The party ended with me rounding up a ride to the ER from our synagogue's cantor (his daughter is in Benjamin's class), and going to spend the rest of the warm, sunny afternoon in the ER.

Blood around her eye, and chocolate around her mouth- when stressed, eat chocolate

I told Charlotte she was a pirate

Fortunately it seemed pretty quiet there, and even though we were a very low priority, we got out within 2 hours, and I went home to stress eat the leftover pizza and cake from the party. She seems to be healing fine, although the surgical glue that they used has yet to come off.

Birthday breakfast

On the boys actual birthday, I tried to make them feel extra special, even though they had school. I bought them birthday balloons, and Eric made them cinnamon rolls for breakfast. I worked only a few hours and then came home to make special birthday dinner- homemade mac & cheese, hamburgers, and a homemade ice cream cake.

Singing happy birthday

Homemade ice cream cake. I give myself 2 thumbs up.

They received lots of generous gifts from their friends, and their grandparents all contributed to new bikes for the boys, which we have yet to order or buy- that is Eric's responsibility!

A week ago we had their 9 year old well visit, and their current stats are:

Asher: 52.5" tall (2.5" taller), 65.8 lbs (9.2 lbs heavier)

Benjamin: 51.25" tall (2.75" taller), 62.5 lbs (7.9 lbs heavier)

The doctor said, as usual, that they look great, and have perfectly shaped bodies. Benjamin is clearly on the smaller side, but he still seems to be on his same curve. He eats perfectly well, so that is certainly not our concern. They didn't get any shots this time, but at 10 they will get their cholesterol checked and their first round of meningitis and HPV vaccines.

Lucky us, getting to celebrate another year of joy and good health. At this time of year, as spring begins and the trees blossom, I always remember the boys' first spring with us. Some of the memories are pleasant, like sitting in the glider in their bedroom with the window open and watching the trees blossom in our neighbors' yards, and some of them are unpleasant, like crawling into bed after a feeding just as the sun was coming up and the birds began chirping. This is my favorite time of year, and celebrating 4/5 of our family birthdays in spring only makes it more special.

Charlotte's first lost tooth

I have Charlotte's tooth and she has a hole in her mouth

Last night Charlotte lost her first baby tooth! It had been pretty loose for a few days, and she had stopped eating food that required her to bite into it (her soft sandwich had to be torn into tiny bites). Finally last night, before bed, she asked Eric to yank it for her. She was scared, but determined. She sat on my lap and I held her tight, and we both closed our eyes. Eric made an attempt and it didn't come out, and she was devastated and started to cry. At this point, Asher came into the room due to all the commotion, so he got to witness the whole thing.

Charlotte asked Eric to try one more time, so he did, and out it popped. She was delighted! We put the tooth in a small plastic ziploc (even though I am trying to stop using plastic bags if at all possible), and she wrote a note to the tooth fairy. She was worried that the tooth fairy wouldn't get to her that night (because it has happened that the tooth fairy has been late to our house before..), but I assured her that the tooth fairy prioritizes first teeth over later teeth and that she would be there.

She wrote the note with no help

Eric went to bed without doing anything, but fortunately I wrote a nice note back and printed it for her (because when I handwrote notes for the boys they recognized my handwriting), and saved her tooth. She got a $2 bill to save, and a $5 bill to spend on something she wants. She told me today that since she had lost her tooth so late at night, she was going to talk about it all day today, and I told her that was fair. Tonight we were reading "Ramona the Pest" by Beverly Cleary, and in it Ramona loses her first tooth, but the illustration showed her with a full smile. So I let Charlotte take a black pen and color in a black gap so that Ramona and Charlotte's new smiles match.

Recent goings-on

Dress as your hero day at school. Charlotte is me, Asher is Barack Obama, and Benjamin is Eric

Here are some things that have been happening in January:

Charlotte started ice skating, and loves it. She now does dance on Monday, ice skating on Tuesday, gymnastics on Wednesday, and Daisies every other Thursday. She has started selling Girl Scout Cookies (which seems to be a joint venture between the two of us, since I seem to be asking everyone I know if they want to buy some). She is making lots of new friends at school, and had her first sleepover with a classmate on Saturday night. The two girls slept in Charlotte's big bed, and they were as cute as could be. We had chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, and I think it was a good experience for both girls.

Charlotte costumed as a Caramel DeLite

Asher is enjoying playing basketball. I have been avoiding attending games because they are on Friday nights when all I want is a delicious dinner and a glass of wine, but Eric told me I had to go this past Friday. I was completely resentful (irrational, yes. I know, I am a grownup, but I was childish in this instance) and so I went with a book to read while he played. The book wasn't completely enthralling, but I managed to be reading it when Asher went ahead and scored his only basket of the entire season! I instantly felt guilty. The next morning, I gave Asher an apology, and offered to attend this coming week, which he requested I do. Shame on me for not getting it right the first time, and now I get to spend another Friday night in a gym watching 9 year-olds play basketball.

We joined the Franklin Institute at the holidays, and we have made one visit in January, with their cousins Eli and Sonia. Benjamin was resistant after his negative experience with the planetarium years ago, but this time he managed to find many things to interest him. He saw that there is a flight simulator, so he now wants to save up money to pay for a chance to ride in it. He is having a little more trouble at school this year, and is in conflict with two boys in his class. He seems to be having a hard time expressing himself constructively, although he does have some new friends and has had some play dates. He is so bright, and has an excellent sense of humor, and I just wish for him to be seen by others the way I see him. We started back at therapy this week, and he seems to really enjoy it and benefit from it.

I made the mistake of suggesting that Eric and I watch "Tidying Up" with Marie Kondo on Netflix, and it lit a fire under him to throw out 33% of our belongings, and fold the remaining 67% of belongings in small, even rectangles. The kids' drawers have never been neater, but mine remain a jumbled mess. Benjamin and I don't do well with throwing things out, and Benjamin has had a few breakdowns as Eric sorted through old stuffed animals and t-shirts. We are both fine once the things are gone, but the process of choosing what to let go is emotionally draining. Eric's goal is that we would have a neat and tidy house all of the time, which I am good with in theory, but have difficulty executing in practice. I will keep you posted.

A tearful selfie Benjamin took with my phone while Daddy threw stuffed animals into a large trash bag

Now we are near the end of what is almost always the least eventful month of the year. I was supposed to go to Paris with my mom, but canceled a few weeks before our departure because I calculated that I had taken about 2 months of vacation in 2018- and my income showed it. I am now back at work without a scheduled break for the foreseeable future.