Back-to-school

All 3 outside of their school

I have been working, not so diligently, on my post about our trip to France, which took place 3 months ago. In the meantime, life has carried on, and I haven't posted a thing!

Asher on his first day in all the cool Under Armour gear his Memere buys him

Benjamin on his first day of school, taking a risk by wearing his Tom Brady shirt in Eagles territory

One week ago, Benjamin and Asher went back to school to start 3rd grade, and Charlotte began kindergarten in the same school as her brothers. Our summer flew by, as it always does. We spent the week before school began at the Cape in our annual week-long vacation there, and it feels jarring and disconcerting to be reading a novel on the beach one day and packing up school supplies the next. The first week of school began with hot, steamy weather that made it seem impossible that summer was over; Thursday night brought thunder storms and the weather has been cool and gray ever since. Leaves are already beginning to change, and it seems like and early fall is on its way.

The cool dudes together

After only 4 days of school the boys seem fairly happy- they like their teachers and each have some old friends in their classes. Charlotte only had 2 days of kindergarten, but says her teacher is nice and that she is already making new friends.  She is also beginning ballet and gymnastics this fall.

Charlotte in her special 1st day dress from Memere

Walking to school together

 I am home on Thursday afternoons, and this past Thursday was over 90 degrees and sunny. I asked all the kids to go swimming with me- one last time- and only Charlotte wanted to join me. We had a peaceful, cool swim. Now our bathing suits, towels, and swim things are packed in the attic, waiting for next year. This is always a sad time of year for me; I love the spring and the summer, all the time we get to spend outdoors, the relaxed schedule, and meeting our friends at the pool or the park. Every year I have summer wishes I don't fulfill. This year we didn't eat outside on our patio enough, and we didn't have friends over to entertain frequently. We did plenty of traveling, and saw lots of friends and family, and swam as much as we could. It was a wonderful summer, which ended too soon!

Our final swim

Asher at overnight camp- the end

Benjamin took Asher's hand and stuck to his side

We got Asher today after 25 days apart. In his absence, we received 1 letter from him (he says it was 2, one was sent to Mommy & Daddy, one to Benjamin & Charlotte, and they said the exact same thing), so what he had done for 3.5 weeks was a complete mystery to us. We assumed he was having fun since he'd been too busy to write, and we hadn't received a single phone call from the camp about any problems.

We were so excited to drive up there and pick him up! My tummy had nervous butterflies as we got close because I couldn't wait to see him. When we pulled into the camp, he was standing on the porch of his cabin waiting for us, and he dashed down to greet us at the car. He started crying, and I teared up, too. I thought he must have really missed us! Finally he choked out that he had so much fun at camp, and didn't want to go home.

Asher with his counselors and CIT

Asher was completely packed, and we loaded up his bags, and he gave us a tour of his cabin and the camp. Benjamin and Charlotte were so excited to see him, and they wouldn't step away from his side. He showed us around the campus, and told us about what they did in the different areas. He seemed to love the traditions and the rituals. Asher said all of his bunkmates were nice, and everyone got along. He knew 2 of the boys from his Hebrew school class already, and made good friends with another boy. Pretty quickly after getting to the camp and seeing how much Asher loved it, Benjamin said he wanted to go next year. I am not sure how I will survive with both of my boys gone next year, but I have 48 weeks to prepare. And of course Charlotte is already counting down the years until she can go, too.

When we drove away from the camp, we headed to a Phillies game. The ride was about 1 hour and 40 minutes, and Asher talked the whole way about his adventures at camp. Charlotte would periodically interrupt him and say, "Asher, are you still talking?" We heard about his trip to the state park, to Dorney Park, the color wars they had in camp, what kind of food they served in the dining hall, the night they snuck out of the cabin, and so on.

Sunny at the baseball game

We saw the Phillies play the San Diego Padres, and had thought it would be cool and cloudy. Wrong! Hot and sunny. Eric made us leave in the 7th inning because he was getting overheated. I have to go back again another day, without him, so I can stay. Also without Charlotte, who whined nonstop.

She won't let go of him!

We welcomed him home with Eric's homemade pizza, and a cake I had baked. Asher said he was happy to sleep in his own bed, but I think he missed all his friends and his counselors. He said he was glad to have gotten a vacation from his little sister, but that vacation is over now- she won't leave him alone! We had to peel her off of him tonight at bedtime.

I have very mixed feelings myself- on the one hand, I am delighted that he had such an overwhelmingly positive experience, and that he feels a part of a special place in a way I never have. I could not have asked for a better overnight camp experience for him. On the other hand, it is very hard for him to have an entire part of his life that I will never be a part of. I know that this is how it goes, and as he gets older, he will have more and more of his own places and things, but this is the first. I have always been a part of his school and known his teachers, met his friends and hosted them at our house, but he now has a group of friends I will probably never know, and an important piece of his life that I will never experience. It is one more milestone in watching him grow up- these milestones seem to creep up but then fly past.

Asher at overnight camp

The boy in his bunk

This is out of sequence- we took Asher to overnight camp 10 days after we returned from our trip to France- but I wanted to write about the experience before he comes home.

Asher asked to go to overnight camp around January, I think. Prior to him asking, I had been sure that it wasn't going to happen in our family. I didn't really like overnight camp as a child; my first experience was 4 nights at a girl scout camp in Texas, and I had hated every single minute of it (cold showers, bugs, dirty mattresses, terrible food, incessant homesickness). Eric had never gone. But in the area where we live, it is pretty common for kids over 8 to go away for at least three weeks, and I had simply been burying my head in the sand. So Asher asked, and I asked if he would prefer a Jewish overnight camp, or a non-religious one. He said a Jewish camp, and so it was a done deal- we would find a way to make it happen.

I was anxious for days before Asher's departure, and didn't sleep much in the nights leading up to it. There was such extensive preparation, with buying things and labeling things and sorting things and packing things. Finally we were ready to go, and on June 27, I drove Asher up, along with family friends whose daughter was also attending. I thought I would certainly cry, and just wanted to hold it together so that he wouldn't see me.

We arrived, and after a temperature check and a lice check for him, we proceeded to his cabin and unpacked his belongings. While I was unpacking he ran outside and started to play Gaga with some of his bunkmates and counselors, and I had to pull him back in to show him where I had stored all of his belongings. He was eager to return to playing, and gave me a really quick hug and kiss goodbye, and that was it- he wasn't sad at all. His comfort at being left with friends helped me feel comfortable in walking away.

The first week wasn't bad. After leaving Asher at camp, I had a full day of work and then Eric and I flew out to California. We came home and it was the July 4 holiday, and time raced by. But he's now been gone almost 3 weeks, and I miss him painfully.

Our whole family seems off-balance. Charlotte and Benjamin don't get along too well. She tries to boss him around, and he is moody and tries to tattle on her whenever he can. He is suffering from insomnia and won't stay in bed at bedtime, getting up with a rotating list of complaints (I'm afraid of the dark, the air conditioner wakes me up, I am itchy, etc.). Everything seems to be a little low-energy. I went to Trader Joe's yesterday, and had a powerful pang of missing him. Benjamin wrote him a letter and said, "Dear Asher, you must miss me, since I really miss you." and drew a picture of himself parachuting into Asher's cabin to join him at camp.

I write him about every-other-day, and we have received one letter in return, 2 weeks ago. It was 3 sentences long. He said: Camp is amazing, I swim in the lake, I like woodworking, and I am trying new foods. We haven't heard anything else! I am hoping that it means he is so busy having fun with his friends that he doesn't have time to write. We can see pictures online and he seems occupied and happy.

The countdown is on- less than a week until he returns. I dreamed about him last night, I am missing him so much. For his homecoming Charlotte wants to decorate the house, and I want to bake him a big cake. And of course, smother him with hugs and kisses. This separation has been difficult on our end, and I am very eager to hear what it was like for him.

Charlotte's pre-k graduation

The graduate and her teachers

On June 6, Charlotte graduated from pre-k for the 2nd and last time. She was in a kindergarten curriculum this year, and is more than prepared for public school kindergarten in the fall. She is full-on reading and is very proud of her abilities.

Her graduation ceremony was short and sweet. Unlike last year, where she clammed up and said nothing, she did all of her parts loudly and proudly.

Walking into preschool for the last time 

The graduates assembled on the stage

Between two of her friends

Accepting her diploma

Taking a bow

 Charlotte was excited and eager to reach the big day, and was happy up until I told her it was time to go, and it appeared to sink in that she wouldn't be seeing everyone again the next day. Once again she was in a class full of good friends, and everyone seemed to love each other (and everyone seemed to especially love Charlotte). When we started to leave, she began to cry, and cried all the way home. I am happy that all of our children had such a warm and loving experience at their preschool, and it is hard to believe that our 6 years there are now over.  From her graduation, we left immediately for our next adventure- 10 days in France.

June 2018

The family in France

I am so overdue on so many posts. June was a wild month.  Our main events were:

• Charlotte's graduation from preschool 
• 10 days in France and the wildest wedding we ever attended
• Asher's departure for 3.5 weeks at overnight
• My trip to California with Eric 

I will go through these things 1 by 1, but I wanted to let anyone who reads this blog know that I am not in fact dead, but simply busy.

6th Broad Street Run + Healthy Kids Running Series

Waiting for the subway

The beginning of May brought us to our big races- the Broad Street Run for me (and this year Eric) and the kids' racing series. 

This year, Eric decided to train for, and run, Broad Street. I won't say that he ran with me, because although he started his training unsure of how he would do, his pace quickly picked up, until I was toooo sloooow for him, and he had to run it by himself.

The weather this year was good for running- cloudy and not too hot. My running partner from last year, Lori, was sick all winter and so deferred her registration. My other running partner, Alex, moved to a different part of the city and so we planned to meet up at the start of the race. Unfortunately, they changed some of the entrances around where we had decided to meet, and so I couldn't find her before the start. I got ready to run all by myself, with my old play list. Then, one mile into the race, I was able to get cell service again, and got through to her. She was about one minute behind me, so I jumped out of the race on to the curb and waited for her to catch up. At that point, whatever pace I might have had for the race was blown, so Alex and I decided to take it easy and just enjoy ourselves. We kept a slow, easy pace and talked the whole way. Around Mile 8 my friend Dan was dj'ing on the corner so I ran over and said hello to him. I didn't come close to wishing I hadn't entered the race until Mile 9, so that's not bad at all!

With DJ Jersey Dan

The last mile was hard, which it always is, but as soon as the race was over I felt fine- no aches or soreness. Eric's knee started giving him trouble around Mile 8, he said, so he was limping and in pain.

With Alex- our 4th year in a row together

Finishers

Eric hasn't been running much since, and he is going to do some PT before he really runs again. I am ok with this because I don't know that I want us both running all these races- I kind of like it when his thing is cycling and my thing is running. It gives me a way to spend time by myself, or with my friends. But he certainly isn't forbidden from participating- it is a fun race, and I could see why he might want to do it again and again!

On to the kids- Charlotte and Asher competed again in the Healthy Kids Running Series. Charlotte ran the 4 & 5 year old's 75-yard dash, and Asher ran the 1/2 mile. Charlotte was again determined to get a trophy. In the first race, she let her nerves get the best of her, and ended up coming in fairly far back in the pack. After that, she gained confidence and placed in each race after that, ultimately getting 2nd place overall. Her sportsmanship was much better- although she cried at the end of some of her races, she never stopped trying her best or running her fastest. I told her that in the fall she has to run the 1/4 mile, and the next day she went out running with me and ran .6 miles! She is already taking it seriously.

Proud girl with her trophy

Asher's season wasn't as spectacular- he ran hard every race, but over the course of the season, his times got slower and slower. He says he wants to return again for the fall, and hopefully we can all get out and work on our running, because he is naturally a fast and graceful runner, and I think he can run faster than he did this spring.

Asher

In our final week, Benjamin decided he wanted to come and watch the races. While the officials tally up the points to determine winners, the parents are invited to run a mile, which I did. Benjamin wanted to run some of the mile with me, and he did- he ran about half a mile at a good speed! He felt strong and confident, and said that he thinks he would like to compete in the fall. Again I am thrilled at the change in his personality and confidence, and I told him I would love to have him join us. 

No one had their best running season this spring, but we all worked hard and enjoyed our runs. It always feels good to push yourself a little bit. Missed goals just mean you work harder the next time around.

Asher: 8 years old

In my lap, like the baby he used to be

(I just found this draft... I thought I published this post weeks ago! My poor neglected children.)

Three weeks ago we celebrated the boys' 8th birthday. As I say every year, I can't believe another year has gone by! I can't believe those little preemie-sized babies I delivered have turned into such strong, smart young men. I can't believe that I only have 5 years to save up for their bar mitzvah!

Asher's update first. He is so mature (until he is tired). His teacher joked to us that Asher seems ready to babysit his siblings if Eric and I decide to go on a date night! Asher is a serious student, who diligently does his homework without complaint. He says his favorite school subjects are math and science, and he just joined the after-school science club. In the past year, he has also turned into a very competent and interested reader. Although he never chooses a book as his #1 activity, he likes to read and seems to understand everything he reads. He has also engaged in extra-curricular projects, as his teacher encourages creativity: a piece of wood decorated with positive sayings (I asked, "where did you learn all of that positive thinking? Certainly not from me!"), and a little booklet with pictures of our trip to Washington, DC.

His favorite activities are: playing outside, playing basketball, and playing Xbox (or watching youtube videos of some guy playing Roblox). He has become good friends with the daughter of our friends down the block, and the two of them play together at least 2 times a week after school. At home, he is my most helpful child. I can count on him to do chores, not make horrible and dangerous decisions, and act like someone 10 years older than he actually is. Every time I need to pay for something at school, I put the money in his backpack. He asked, "Why do you always give that stuff to me and not Benjamin?" and I said, "Because I can trust you to actually give it to the teacher." 

Asher has a sense of curiosity and interest- he is almost always interested in trying a new activity or going to see a new place. He is always ready to be on the go, whether we are going to take a walk to Aldi or a day trip to DC. He LOVES his family, and says Passover is his favorite holiday because he gets to see all of his cousins. Asher has also taken an interest in Judaism and his Jewish identity. This summer, he'll be spending 3.5 weeks at a Reform Jewish sleepover camp. I don't know if I can live without him! He seems confident and excited about going, but I am dreading it.

I can still pick him up and carry him! But my time is running out

He has recently become best friends with our neighbor, and they play together almost everyday after school. I am not really joking when I say that he has left me for another woman- this is the first time that he has ever paid more attention to someone other than me. I was fairly convinced that he would be devoted to me forever.

We are still trying to deal with Asher's food aversions and pickiness. He does like meat and vegetables, but otherwise it is all carbs, all the time. And only in certain forms- he likes mac and cheese, but only if it's not too cheesey, and also as long as it is hot and not warm or reheated. Packing his lunch for school has become increasingly difficult. His favorite foods are my risotto with peas, pizza, mac and cheese, pasta with tomato sauce, plain bagels with nothing on them, and our homemade cinnamon rolls. (Notice a carb-centric theme?) He also likes broccoli, spinach, carrots, and string beans. I let the pickiness slide until his doctor's appointment, but now it is time to eat!

I have noticed that Asher already has a good capacity for empathy and to anticipate people's emotional reactions. When we watch movies, he can read the emotions on the actors' faces. When we talk about interpersonal situations, he is able to understand how the people involved might feel. And he is fairly in touch with his own emotions. After one particularly fun evening, when I tucked Asher into bed he said, "Mommy, sometimes I just feel so happy, I feel happy and I'm all warm inside." I said, "that is a wonderful feeling! I feel that way, too, especially when I spend time with you and our family." Then, from his bed on the other side of the room, Benjamin piped up and said, "Mommy, sometimes I have a feeling... like I want to eat something, but I don't know what.... But maybe it's candy..." Eric and I had a good laugh at that, and we agreed that Asher has inherited my emotional intelligence, and Benjamin inherited his.

Again, as we mark another year gone by, I cannot believe how quickly time passes. I can't believe that Asher is only 12" shorter than I am, that he knows more than I do about certain aspects of US history, and that he can run faster than I can. I look back on that curly, blond-haired baby and can't even see the big boy face that has grown out of it. Asher is a love, a joy, and a sweet, smart boy.