Asher: 8 years old

In my lap, like the baby he used to be

(I just found this draft... I thought I published this post weeks ago! My poor neglected children.)

Three weeks ago we celebrated the boys' 8th birthday. As I say every year, I can't believe another year has gone by! I can't believe those little preemie-sized babies I delivered have turned into such strong, smart young men. I can't believe that I only have 5 years to save up for their bar mitzvah!

Asher's update first. He is so mature (until he is tired). His teacher joked to us that Asher seems ready to babysit his siblings if Eric and I decide to go on a date night! Asher is a serious student, who diligently does his homework without complaint. He says his favorite school subjects are math and science, and he just joined the after-school science club. In the past year, he has also turned into a very competent and interested reader. Although he never chooses a book as his #1 activity, he likes to read and seems to understand everything he reads. He has also engaged in extra-curricular projects, as his teacher encourages creativity: a piece of wood decorated with positive sayings (I asked, "where did you learn all of that positive thinking? Certainly not from me!"), and a little booklet with pictures of our trip to Washington, DC.

His favorite activities are: playing outside, playing basketball, and playing Xbox (or watching youtube videos of some guy playing Roblox). He has become good friends with the daughter of our friends down the block, and the two of them play together at least 2 times a week after school. At home, he is my most helpful child. I can count on him to do chores, not make horrible and dangerous decisions, and act like someone 10 years older than he actually is. Every time I need to pay for something at school, I put the money in his backpack. He asked, "Why do you always give that stuff to me and not Benjamin?" and I said, "Because I can trust you to actually give it to the teacher." 

Asher has a sense of curiosity and interest- he is almost always interested in trying a new activity or going to see a new place. He is always ready to be on the go, whether we are going to take a walk to Aldi or a day trip to DC. He LOVES his family, and says Passover is his favorite holiday because he gets to see all of his cousins. Asher has also taken an interest in Judaism and his Jewish identity. This summer, he'll be spending 3.5 weeks at a Reform Jewish sleepover camp. I don't know if I can live without him! He seems confident and excited about going, but I am dreading it.

I can still pick him up and carry him! But my time is running out

He has recently become best friends with our neighbor, and they play together almost everyday after school. I am not really joking when I say that he has left me for another woman- this is the first time that he has ever paid more attention to someone other than me. I was fairly convinced that he would be devoted to me forever.

We are still trying to deal with Asher's food aversions and pickiness. He does like meat and vegetables, but otherwise it is all carbs, all the time. And only in certain forms- he likes mac and cheese, but only if it's not too cheesey, and also as long as it is hot and not warm or reheated. Packing his lunch for school has become increasingly difficult. His favorite foods are my risotto with peas, pizza, mac and cheese, pasta with tomato sauce, plain bagels with nothing on them, and our homemade cinnamon rolls. (Notice a carb-centric theme?) He also likes broccoli, spinach, carrots, and string beans. I let the pickiness slide until his doctor's appointment, but now it is time to eat!

I have noticed that Asher already has a good capacity for empathy and to anticipate people's emotional reactions. When we watch movies, he can read the emotions on the actors' faces. When we talk about interpersonal situations, he is able to understand how the people involved might feel. And he is fairly in touch with his own emotions. After one particularly fun evening, when I tucked Asher into bed he said, "Mommy, sometimes I just feel so happy, I feel happy and I'm all warm inside." I said, "that is a wonderful feeling! I feel that way, too, especially when I spend time with you and our family." Then, from his bed on the other side of the room, Benjamin piped up and said, "Mommy, sometimes I have a feeling... like I want to eat something, but I don't know what.... But maybe it's candy..." Eric and I had a good laugh at that, and we agreed that Asher has inherited my emotional intelligence, and Benjamin inherited his.

Again, as we mark another year gone by, I cannot believe how quickly time passes. I can't believe that Asher is only 12" shorter than I am, that he knows more than I do about certain aspects of US history, and that he can run faster than I can. I look back on that curly, blond-haired baby and can't even see the big boy face that has grown out of it. Asher is a love, a joy, and a sweet, smart boy.