Annual February post

Well, it is that time of year again- the time of year where I price one-way tickets to California and search California real estate for the one-bedroom studio apartment we could afford if we moved there.  Although the weather this winter hasn't been nearly as bad as last winter, it is still winter- no walks outside, no trips to the playground, no dinner in our backyard, no swimming.  Constant illness that gets passed from one family member to another.

Sick #1: Charlotte's ear infection. Note the green snot and the drool on my shoulder

This year has not been as bad as other years have been, for me. I am not feeling depressed so much as I am feeling impatient for the weather to change and for spring to come.  I have been trying to keep myself busy by continuing to exercise, making plans with friends both for myself and the kids, and getting the kids around town to as many indoor places as I can think of.  I have been cooking a lot, and I definitely have the desire to eat more baked goods and sweets than in warmer months of the year.

Sick #2: a fevered nightmare that woke him with 2 minutes left in the Superbowl.  We didn't have time to wrestle him back into bed, so he got to watch the rest of the game.  He loved Daddy's victory dance through the living room when the Patriots won.

I'm trying to look ahead to upcoming events, but many of those are stressful, too.  I thought about trying to take a long weekend in Florida over the kids' spring break, but for us to even fly somewhere inexpensively starts at $1,000, and then we would have rental car, hotel, food, entertainment... There is kindergarten enrollment, but kindergarten is only a half-day here, so I have to figure out half-day care for the days I work (more $$$).  The boys are turning 5, and I am planning a birthday party for them, with an overwhelming guest list (HOW do we have more friends every year?).  Enrolling the boys in summer camp, possibly choosing a new preschool for Charlotte, likely changing pediatricians.  Little things going on in the background that are left for me to figure out, as they aren't Eric's areas of involvement.

We have had someone sick for the past 2 weeks straight.  I am so lucky that Eric works from home and will stay home with the kids and take care of them so I can continue to see my clients.  But it is sad to see my angels sick, although we are also fortunate it hasn't been anything serious.

Sick #3: currently has a fever. This was at a birthday party a week before he actually was sick, but it captures his current state.

I would 100% move somewhere warmer if I thought I could bring my parents with me. I can't survive without their day-to-day help, and I can't afford to hire someone else to give me the kind of help they do.  I have tried to sell them on the idea of moving into a family compound in Northern California, but my mom has been resistant to it (I can't imagine why...).

On the plus side- all of the kids are thriving outside of their viral illnesses. Asher is drawing and creating each day, and I love watching his concentration and his beautiful artwork.  Benjamin has a mind like a steel trap and absorbs facts and information constantly.  He remembers almost everything!  And Charlotte's vocabulary continues to increase exponentially.  She gets us laughing everyday with the things she says, her graceful dance moves, her stylish outfit choices, her obsession with her stuffed animals, and her spunky attitude.  We've had many wonderful days together as a family where I am able to sit back and enjoy my children's company and admire the little people they are becoming.  Along with my desire to fast-forward to spring, I have a desire to freeze time and keep them just the way they are.

The countdown: 

40 days til spring (and Papa Nick's birthday)

46 days til the boys turn FIVE

61 days til I turn 35 (help! and please send Botox!)

63 days til Eric turns 35 

102 days til summer

Parent-Teacher Conferences

The boys doing our community service on MLK day

Charlotte at dinner on Saturday- after singing "Let it Go" and before slithering like a snake on the floor of the restaurant

Yesterday Eric and I met with the kids' teachers for conferences.  I always get excited about them because usually the teachers talk up the kids and I leave feeling very positive about their growth and development.

We started with Charlotte's teacher, Miss Karen, who had nothing but wonderful things to say about our girl.  She said Charlotte does well everyday, and even though she is the youngest in the class, keeps up with activities and is right on target in her learning and skills.  She said Charlotte is a delight, so happy, and a lot of fun.  She complimented Charlotte's dancing (she has both my enthusiasm (a lot) and my rhythm (none)).  I am thrilled that Charlotte is doing so well and fitting in with kids who are a little bit older than she is.

The boys' conferences were less positive.  Not because there is anything wrong with the boys, although their teacher did harp on the issues that she noticed with them, but because she focused so little on what is great about them.  Her final note on Asher was, "Asher is a bright, well-behaved, observant child, who likes to be right and likes to be first.  We are working with him to be flexible when he doesn't get to be in line first or at an activity that is full.  We are also helping him with language that sounds kind and gentle so that he doesn't sound 'bossy' to other children."  I mean, really, she couldn't even make one whole sentence good things only?  The fact that Asher is bossy isn't news to us- he is completely bossy and we are always telling him to back off.  He can also be helpful, insightful, kind, thoughtful, caring, loving...  But no mention of any of that.  He has also made huge strides in his learning, his drawing, his knowledge of letters and numbers.  But she didn't mention that, either.

Benjamin is also doing well with learning, being a good friend and classmate, and participation.  She was stuck on his lack of eye contact during handshake time and said we should mention it to our pediatrician.  I said, "Are you telling me you think this is indicative of a bigger problem?" i.e. autism; and she kind of backed down and said every other kid in the class could do it but that she couldn't say if it meant anything more.  I am not concerned about Benjamin and autism- he is very social and does make eye contact when you talk to him.  He is definitely socially awkward, and we have been working with him on that, by drawing his attention to his behaviors and suggesting more socially acceptable ones.  Eric is socially uncomfortable, and my dad's social skills sometimes leave something to be desired as well, so it is understandable that social skills might be a struggle.  But it felt like she was making a mountain out of a molehill.  She also said maybe we should get Benjamin a speech evaluation.  I explained we've had several (a minimum of 3) and that he has never qualified for services.  I am figuring that when he gets to public school, he'll get speech in the school- he never says the "s" before a consonant at the beginning of a word, and he never says the "r" in the middle of a word.  It makes for a lot of laughs when he asks to wear an outfit that is "very gray."

Both boys know all their letters and numbers up to 10.  They know the sounds associated with letters and are beginning to read short words.  They follow the classroom rules without fail, they are good friends to their fellow classmates. I hear nothing but good things from everyone else at the school.  The conference left a bad taste in my mouth.  It's not like I expect a teacher to lie to me and only tell me wonderful things, especially if they aren't true, but I would have liked a little more balance in the report.  I am thinking about whether I will say something to the teacher to let her know how I feel, or if I will just let it go.  I do feel like my boys are well-prepared for kindergarten in the fall, and that is important.  They like school and are happy there, and that's important, too. I just wish their teacher saw a little more positive in them.

Throwback Thursday

Five years ago today:

26w pregnant with the boys

Today:
I registered my babies for kindergarten!  I can't believe it.  I have been keeping this blog for over 5 years now.  My babies, those babies who I worked so hard to stay pregnant with, to breast feed, to keep safe... will be going to kindergarten.

I know it is cliche, but it is true- the time has flown.  I remember so clearly the anxiety of being in bed rest- particularly strict bed rest.  The wondering about what my babies would look like and be like as people.  And to now have these two wonderful boys, talking to me, sharing their days, getting ready to read.  I look at their little boy faces and still see that baby face in them; the way their faces looked as newborns, as toddlers.  To think they will be in elementary school!

I'm filled with panic at how fast it all goes.  I love having young children.  I know many friends (and Eric!) who can't wait to get through this stage, but I love it.  I love the snuggles, the sweet way they talk (and mispronounce words), the constant surprise at new development, and, frankly, the being needed.  It's a large part of why I want another baby, so that this stage can go on forever.  Kindergarten marks the start, in my head, of them being big kids.  Soon they will start puberty, have bar mitzvahs, and not want to hug me.  I can't stand it.

I'm so proud of my boys, because they are wonderful people so far, and I am sure that they will thrive next year.  But- my babies are growing up!

Charlotte's 2 year well-visit

Worrying about her toenail and saying "cheese."

Enjoying a chicken drumstick

Yesterday Charlotte had her 2 year old well-visit with the pediatrician.  My only concern is her pinky toenail, which is growing in funny, but he seemed to think that it was just a bump to the toe and will fall off soon.

Here are her stats:
Height: 34.5"(71st percentile)
Weight: 29.8 lbs (82nd percentile)

The doctor seemed happy that she is in school 2 days a week and socializing well.  She's active and gets exercise, plays well with others, and is talking up a storm.  She told him no, she doesn't like to read books (she's a fibber!), but that her favorite songs are "First time in Forever" and "Let it Go."

On Sunday, she pooped in the potty!  This has not been repeated.  She has an interest in wearing underwear, but not so much interest in actually peeing on the potty.  The other night she got her little potty chair and carried it around from room to room upstairs, but never actually used it.  Maybe some day...

At the doctor, Charlotte got a shot- the vaccine for Hep A, which made her cry- but she then got a sparkly bandaid and a sticker of Anna from Frozen, which seemed to ease her pain.  At home, Asher was incredibly jealous of the sparkle bandaid and begged to go to the doctor himself to get a shot.  I reassured him that at his next visit, he'd get shots and the opportunity for a bandaid of his own.  Unbelievable!

The visit went easily, and it never gets old to hear a professional confirm what I suspect- my no-longer-a-baby girl is thriving!

Happy New Year!

We are at the end of a whirlwind 3 weeks that included my running the bake sale at the JCC (we raised $600 for the preschool PTO, which I am thrilled about), several parties, Charlotte's birthday party, a trip to Maine, a trip to the zoo, a day of work, several more parties, and Disney on Ice.  There has been nonstop socializing and action, and lots of late bedtimes.  Whew.

2014 was another good year for us; probably even fewer changes than the year before.  While the kids change everyday, their change has slowed slightly.  We have hit a fairly good rhythm with them, and for the most part can get through a day without wanting to either: a) kill the kids b) kill each other c) drink an excessive amount of wine, or d) all of the above.

We continued to work on making our house our home, with Eric building me a desk to help organize my papers (see more about that below), and the boys getting a bunk bed as their big-boy bed.  We didn't do any major home renovations in 2014, but Eric is gearing up to finish our basement with the help of his friends in the next few months.

The highlight of the year, for me, was our family vacation to Cape Cod in September.  We had a full week of beautiful weather; the kids were wonderful to be with; and it brought me such joy to watch my children creating their own traditions and truly loving a place that is so special to me.  After a vacation like that, it is hard for anything else to compare!

It was another year of feeling thankful each day, as I got to tuck my 3 beautiful children into their warm beds in their warm house, with food in their bellies.  We aren't wealthy, but we are rich.

I just re-read last year's New Year's post, and unfortunately, my 2015 goals are exactly the same.  I can't say that I made much progress on any of my goals.  Here they are, in a cut-and-paste:

• be better organized, i.e. not lose my things, not run around like a chicken with my head cut off, not forget to buy birthday gifts for all of our friends.
• better manage our money. we get caught in cycles of "let's buy things!" which then shift to, "oh, sh*t! we don't have enough money!" which then goes back to "buy more!" when we feel deprived from all of our saving.  it's like a yo-yo diet but with a bank account.
• spend less time on Facebook.  Why do I spend so much time on something that is completely unfulfilling?  Why do I care what dumb article on buzz feed someone I haven't seen in 10 years thinks is funny?  I need the "babies/weddings/engagements" filter since that is really all I care about.
• be nicer to Eric.  Whether it is actually his fault, I can still be nicer while blaming him.  No, really- we do need to make more time for our relationship.  It's hard when we are both exhausted from working, taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking, fixing things, etc., but we're both happier when we spend time together as a couple.

I would not say that I have become any more organized, despite my desire to be organized.  Maybe I am slightly better?  But my guess is that Eric would say I am worse.  I am also a terrible procrastinator.  In fact, as I type this, I should be studying for my PA state licensing exam.  I am sure that the procrastination will never change, but it remains my goal to become better organized.

I made no progress on any of my other goals, either.  Except maybe to be nicer to Eric, so that's a good one!

This year, I choose to keep my old goals and hopefully finally improve on them.  I did have some accomplishments in 2014- I ran 2 half-marathons, which had never been a goal but sure feels great to have achieved!  And I kept all 3 kids alive and well, and happy- they are happy and well-adjusted thus far, which you can't really put on a year-to-year list, but feels good when taking stock.  We are lucky to end one year and begin another with such good health and so much love around us.  We're off to a roaring start!

Christmas 2014

We are home from spending Christmas with Eric's parents in Maine.  We went up on the afternoon of the 23rd, and the kids were SO excited to go to Memere and Pepere's.  We got in around midnight, and when the kids woke up at 7, dumped them on Eric's parents.  We got to sleep in until almost 9, and then waited for Eric's brother and his family to come over.  We are still trying to figure out what Christmas traditions work as our families have expanded over the years- it used to be Eric's parents, Eric, me, Eric's brother, and his wife every Christmas morning, but now that there are a total of 8 grandchildren with varying schedules, that doesn't work.  This year, our Christmas morning was on Christmas Eve morning, and everyone opened their presents and then we had breakfast.  Charlotte was very into it, and loved her gifts.

Opening presents

Quick learner

Her favorite present- an Elsa doll that sings "let it go"

We spent the rest of the day being lazy; the kids took long naps because they didn't sleep well in the car the night before.  I made my trip to Walmart, where I am always in awe at the quantity and variety of items they have there.

Christmas Eve is always spent at Eric's grandparents' house, and Santa visits us there.  Asher had a tantrum because "there is no food for me to eat!" at Eric's grandparents.  Eric's parents were ready to drive back to their house to get him an uncrustable.  I said NO WAY. Not humoring his crazy pickiness- there was plenty of food there for him to eat.

Charlotte with Aunt Annette behind her, Asher, Memere

 Charlotte was very excited when Santa came, because he called her name for a gift first.

Graciously receiving her gift

 But he only brings 1 gift per child, which Charlotte didn't understand.  She spent the rest of his visit standing in front of him, patiently waiting for more presents.

"More presents?"

 Then she got less patient, and started asking for more.  Benjamin was the last one to receive a gift, and he was very patient in waiting.

Benjamin gets a gift, and Charlotte tries to claim it!

 Then it was time for Santa to leave.  Which resulted in Charlotte crying big, fat tears because "no more presents."  Keep in mind, this poor unfortunate girl had just gone through 8 nights of Hanukkah and one birthday.

Tears and hand-wringing over no more presents

We got a picture of Great-Grampa and the great-grandchildren who were present, which was only 7 of the 13.  Charlotte is his only female biological great-grandchild (our nieces are adopted)- she broke the mold!

Benjamin snuggling with Memere. 

Poor Memere got a terrible cold, so she was more tired than she usually is.  Lucky for me, this meant that she let me make my mess in her kitchen and tried not to get too upset about it.  Saturday afternoon she sprang into action and started telling me to put my things away and clean up- she must have been feeling better!

Saturday night we had a birthday celebration for Charlotte and her cousin Chandler, who is 1 year and 1 week younger than she is.  I made her another Hello Kitty cake (I had made one for her birthday the week before) and Chandler got cupcakes.

"Hi Kee-kee!" cake

She blew the candles out herself!

On Sunday we packed up and drove home, through our friend's house in Plympton, MA, which is close to the Cape. They bought a cute little farmhouse a few months ago and we got to poke around- it is over 200 years old, and so full of charm and character.  We had a delicious lunch, and then headed home at nap time.  It took us forever to get home from their house, but got home right around 8.  It's always good to be home after time away, and we were all happy to sleep in our own beds.

Eric got an extra gift from his parents- his mom's cold! So he has been feeling lousy ever since.  Even so, we had a wonderful holiday, with no major crises, lots of fun, and lots of family time.  We are already getting questions about when we will have Christmas again, and Charlotte is STILL asking for more presents.  We are trying to wean off dessert for breakfast, but not having much luck- I think we are still at 3 desserts/day.

I am so delayed in posting everything- it has been crazy over the past month with holidays, travel, Charlotte's birthday, and I organized a bake sale at the kids' school... I'll catch up someday, I hope!

Charlotte: TWO years old!

Big, independent girl!

My baby was 2 on Sunday.  How can this be?  It seems like just yesterday we were in the hospital together, my brand new baby and me.  And now I have a big, smart, funny, beautiful girl.

Last night as a 1 year-old

Charlotte never ceases to amaze me.  She is such a happy, social girl, and people seem drawn to her wherever we go. She is talking more and more each day; she is up to 4-5 word sentences, and is like a little parrot. She'll say back almost any word I say to her, but often leaves out consonants in the middle of a word.  So "waffle" becomes "wah-ell."  Mostly I understand her, although this morning she was asking for "kisses" for breakfast and I couldn't understand what that was!  It is great that she's so able to communicate, which helps cut down on temper tantrums (sometimes). She can say her name, and tell you that she is 2.  She calls anything pink "my favorite color." I told her she was my baby and she said, "No baby! Big girl!"  She has always been in such a rush to grow up, that girl, and all I want to do is drag out her babyhood because she's my last baby.

Dessert: one of her favorite food groups

Charlotte's favorite foods are... impossible to predict.  She is no longer my eat-everything-baby- she changes her favorite foods from day to day.  She likes many fruits, and loves spinach and broccoli, and almost always loves pasta.  She detests all meats that aren't processed, which means she will spit out chicken, but devour sausage.  She likes pizza ("tee-ta"), cereal, eggs, cheese, and sometimes yogurt.  I think her favorite food is mac and cheese, because that is what she asks for the most.

As with her favorite foods, Charlotte changes her favorite stuffed animal from day to day.  Instead of always taking her Kitty Cat with her, sometimes she takes a rabbit ("raddit") or a small white kitty.  Lately White Kitty gets taken out on the town, but it's always Black Kitty who she wants when it's nap or bedtime.  She just got a gift of a big Hello Kitty doll and calls her "Hi Kitty!"  Her enthusiasm about everything is contagious and adorable.

Every birthday party needs a tutu

She is certainly a girl.  Besides loving pink, she loves pretty dresses and tutus.  She likes to dance in her dresses and twirls like a ballerina with her arms over her head.  She loves dolls.  But- she also loves cars and trucks and playing with her brothers.  She's pretty sure she is 4 years old and can do anything that they do.

Charlotte does like to watch TV.  Her top 2 shows right now are probably Animal Mechanical (pronounced "Amuhl Camuhl" and as bad as the title implies) and Care Bears.  But it kind of seems like she'll watch anything that comes on!

Playtime in the tubby

Everyone adores Charlotte.  Her brothers mostly dote on her, but they also take advantage of her younger age by bossing her around and blaming accidents on her.  I think she knows she's getting unfairly accused, and one night Eric heard her in her crib scolding all her stuffed animals.  "No, no, no Raddit.  No, no, no Kee-kee.  No, no, no Pih-ee."  But her brothers worry about her and take care of her, and often defer to her tantrums because we all hate to hear her cry.  One morning we heard Charlotte in her crib, and I didn't rush in to her, but Asher did.  When I came in to get her, he was sitting in her crib with her, talking and laughing.  She can be very bossy with them, and possessive of Mommy and Daddy, but for the most part, they let her get her way.

Playing at her party with her friend Elliott

Charlotte has developed a love of the words "NO!" and "My's!" (for mine).  Eric described her as willful, but also confident, with a mind of her own. The he said, "how many different ways can you say that she's perfect?"  She is a wonderful girl, a wonder, a miracle, a blessing, a marvel. How is it possible that we could make such a delicious and beautiful girl?