26w4d: Bedrest Breakdown #2

Let me begin by saying that today definitely had highlights.  I had two visitors, a Starbucks cappuccino, and some delicious fresh fruit (melon and pineapple, two things Eric doesn't really know how to shop for).  And let me also say that through pregnancy, I have been pretty even-keeled.  Eric called it "crazy" when I snapped it him ONCE for making hamburgers wrong.  One snap, once.  In the entire IVF/pregnancy process.  And let me tell you that Eric was making those burgers at 8 pm after I had been at work and hadn't eaten.  So pregnant with twins + no dinner and it's 8:15 = justifiable snap.  And the first time I cried about anything was over Bedrest Breakdown #1 (see entry for Jan. 7  at 25 weeks).

But, this morning I got the call from the nurse at my OB's office saying I failed my 1-hour glucose test by 5 points.  5 points!  Ugh.  So, I have to go in for a 3-hour fasting glucose test.  This involved me calling the lab to schedule the test.  When I called the lab I told them that I'm on bedrest and need a place to recline while I'm there.  They have recliners in the back of the lab that I've seen, and I can't be the first pregnant woman on bedrest to need this 3-hour test... but the woman at the lab said there was nowhere for me to recline.  But I'm not allowed to leave the hospital.  So the lab lady says, "Maybe you can go lie down at your OB's office?"  I called back to my OB's office, and the nurse said that I could, indeed, come up there in between blood draws.  I said, "Ok, do I need to worry about walking back and forth?" (It is a short walk, and then an elevator in between.)  She said, "No, have your husband come and push you in a wheelchair."  A wheelchair!  This does not fit with my self-concept of myself as able-bodied.  And it means that rather than have Eric drop me off and then come pick me up 3 hours later, he has to come spend all 3 hours with me and push my stupid wheelchair around.  Ugh!

I had also been emailing with someone from my parents' synagogue about getting a free glider from him.  We don't have a glider, and the one I registered for from Target is close to $200.  For $200 we can pretty much buy the car seats we need, and frankly, I want those!  So I would like to check out the gliders, and asked the man from the synagogue if he could email pictures.  He said he was worried about the lighting, how about in person?  Well, I can't go over there, what with having my ass glued to the couch.  So I volunteered Eric to go.  Then I let Eric know I had volunteered him.  I acknowledge that I did not do things in the proper order.  But I jumped on it because 1) it was free and 2) our progress on the nursery thus far is that we have ordered cribs that have not yet arrived (more on the nursery in another post).

Naturally, Eric was upset.  He has been working like crazy because his company is preparing their product to launch at the PGA convention in Orlando in a week and a half.  He worked all weekend.  He has been working from 8 am to 10 pm almost everyday, with breaks to eat or assist me.  But that's crazy, I could have married a lawyer for those hours!  Anyway, he is stressed out, I am adding to his stress.  I could tell he was upset with me.  I burst into tears.  I am so frustrated at not being able to do the things I want.  I am finally ready to prepare a nursery for our boys, because I am finally feeling like we are going to come home from the hospital with babies.  

I want that normal-mommy experience, of planning for your babies, of making a home for them.  And I am so frustrated that I can't really do it, and that I am supposed to take a wheelchair tomorrow, and that I can't do anything other than use the toilet and shower without someone else's help. 

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be another (and better) day. 

The picture is of Trouble expressing his feelings in regards to "The Bachelor."  His assessment: not worth his time.