Benjamin: 8 years old

Benjamin is, remarkably, in a completely different place at 8 than he was at 7. Whether it is the attentions of his current teacher, his work with his therapist, or our work at home (and really, I haven't done much work), he is much happier than he was a year ago. He went from crying before school, or after school, to loving school. He even chose to go to school for 1 hour last week after he went to Take Your Child to Work Day. He has been invited to several birthday parties and has friends to play with at recess.

At home he seems much less angry than he was 7 months ago. He comes to us for affection more than he did, and doesn't get irate the way he did. We haven't had trouble with impulsive behavior. He still needs more reminding in regards to his daily responsibilities, but he does them eventually. I tell him all the time how proud of him I am, and I can see his growing pride and confidence in himself.

An illustration of our shortcomings left on my pillow

He continues to be a creative writer and artist, and is finishing an art class at the art museum that he enjoyed. I adore his poetry, and his illustrations of our everyday moments.

My favorite poem

The plan for my birthday breakfast, followed exactly as drawn

A drawing of a cougar from a cat drawing book

Benjamin has an obsession with his small stuffed Tigger tsum tsum, whom he calls "Tiggy." Often Benjamin will use Tiggy to speak for him. Tiggy comes to school in Benjamin's pocket each day, a habit which ends with 2nd grade. Benjamin writes poems about Tiggy. Tiggy stars in all kinds of fantasies and is the main character in most of Benjamin's drawings. Benjamin is quite attached to Tiggy, and gets down when Tiggy is misplaced. We are actually on Tiggy #2, after Tiggy #1 went missing and didn't return after a couple of weeks. Tiggy has seemed to help Benjamin with these changes and transitions, so we take him everywhere with us.

Tiggy creeping into our selfie

In addition to his love for books, art, and poetry, Benjamin has an obsession with video games. He will play them on my phone, on Eric's computer, on the Xbox, or whatever he can get his hands on. He and Asher love to watch YouTube videos of some young man playing Roblox, and then play Roblox themselves.

Cool dude selfie

 Benjamin began growing out his hair in the fall, and grew it all winter long. Then, two weeks ago, he said he wanted to cut it. As much as I didn't want him to grow it out, Eric and I had always said that we wouldn't fight with our kids over hairstyles. And when he was done with it, that was it. Benjamin is absolutely his own person- he doesn't really care about his appearance or how he is dressed. He is himself everyday. I am proud of him for doing what he wants and what he feels comfortable doing.

He is shocked at how he looks with short hair!

 We have always said that Benjamin is a little out to lunch, and not necessarily paying attention to what is happening around him (in contrast to Asher, who is highly attuned to what people are doing and saying), but it has become clear recently that Benjamin is quite aware. He might choose not to get involved, but he knows what is happening. He gave me a poem for Mother's Day and was right on the money about everything in it.

Benjamin is aware of his role in the family- we have had many conversations about how when his brother and sister act up and have tantrums, he just sits back and waits his turn. I told him how I appreciate him not having tantrums. I am making sure to give him a lot of positive attention, and I think the art class he is taking has helped with that, since we have prioritized our weekend plans to get him there. 

Benjamin is still our best eater, eating 3 good meals a day. He prefers savory foods at breakfast to sweet ones, and will sometimes eat leftovers or hot dogs instead of cereal or waffles. He always eats a lunch with two fruits in it. He doesn't love vegetables, but does eat broccoli. He and I love to eat all kinds of fruits together. He will sneak soda and chips if given the opportunity, because we don't usually have them in our house. Overall he is a healthy eater, even if it doesn't seem to result in him being taller or larger!

This has been a really good year for Benjamin, and I am hoping that spending half the summer apart from Asher will give him even more opportunity to gain confidence and a separate identity. It felt like I lost the Benjamin I knew a year ago, but now I have him back. I am truly proud of him, and grateful for where we are right now.