Thursday, February 18, 2016

Considerations and Mid-February Melancholy

I have no real reason for my absence from blogging.  Of course I've been busy- I don't even know how much I have posted about it on here, but I started a private practice and so have been working a little bit more. But that's not it, because I definitely get online and waste plenty of time doing nothing.

I wonder about not keeping a blog at all, but I love looking back at all the things I've written. I use this blog in lieu of a baby book, so if it isn't written in here, it's like it never happened.  At the same time, I feel like everything I write is the same as before, that I'm just raving about how great I think my kids are or some other nonsense. I put pictures up but they are all crappy iphone pictures that aren't that great to look at. And the kids are always in motion so the pictures are blurry.

While our days are still eventful, we have emerged from the intensity of the early days with twins, of having twin toddlers and a baby, of having a baby at all.  I don't need this blog as an outlet for my anxiety or as a place to release all that builds up in a day chasing and caring for pre-verbal children.  I have 3 perfectly healthy, happy children who are all potty-trained, feed themselves, and play together nicely (most of the time).  They are wonderful and adorable (or at least I think so) but how many times can I say that?

As they have gotten older, my interests have shifted.  I am thinking more about my career and my future outside of being a mom.  Although all 3 children still need me a lot, I have more time to myself. The boys are in school 5 mornings a week, and Charlotte is in school 3 mornings a week. I find time to jog, to cook, to grocery shop- sometimes alone, sometimes with 1 or more of my children. I have nothing to complain about. Not that a blog is just for complaining, but it was a way to explore my experiences in a high risk pregnancy, as a mom of multiples, as a mom to twins plus one.

That said, I'm not going to stop blogging. I just needed to get all that out because I felt like the drop in my posting was conspicuous! I will now go back to my regularly scheduled programming of updates of my kids' lives, their milestones, and my struggles as a mommy to 3 who works part time.

And, of course, I have hit my mid-February melancholy, where the days are gray and the weather is lousy, and I begin pricing real estate in California and looking at one-way tickets to tropical locales. The kids all got strep last week, so we had to cancel social plans, and then when they were supposed to go back to school on Tuesday morning, we were told the roads were unsafe and there was a 2 hour delay.  The cleaning lady came yesterday and you already wouldn't know it by the state of my house.

That said, our spring will be busy: I am presenting on sexuality, sexual pleasure, and consent for a group of women in March; we are going to DC with Memere and Pepere for the boys' 6th birthday; and I will be running the Broad St Run again this year.  I am looking forward to beginning my training and doing long runs in warm spring air...

So far I have made it through the month without crying over anything other than the death of the owner of our favorite sushi restaurant (he was super sweet and would greet us at the door and exclaim over us and, as our family grew, our kids), which seems an acceptable thing to cry about.

More updates soon on Valentine's Day and Asher's attitude...

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