In a year that didn't see a great deal of posting, I wanted to write a wrap-up post. It feels as though change happens more slowly now, since our children are past the rapid change of infancy and toddlerhood. They have gained a great deal of independence, and can take care of most of their needs with minimal intervention from Eric and me. They can shower themselves, dress themselves, get their own snacks, and know how to work every electronic in the house. They all know how to read and write, and get pleasure from creating their own masterpieces. This has left Eric and me with more time to sleep, and to reconnect with each other.
That leads me to one of the many good parts of the year- Eric and I have had the time and energy to better our relationship. It wasn't in a bad place a year ago (not even close), but we have both focused on each other more this year than we have been able to since before the boys were born. I have spent time in my therapy focusing on what I could do better- which was, essentially, be less critical. It didn't benefit either Eric or me if I picked apart everything he did, or found fault when he tried to help me. I am lucky to have a husband who plays such an active role in parenting our children, and there really isn't anything to criticize, so why do it?
This has also allowed me to take a similar approach in my other important relationships. I have surrounded myself with loving and supportive people, and all I need to do is nurture those relationships, rather than hunt for negatives and dwell on them. I fear becoming a sappy sweet person; rather than the sarcastic, neurotic Jewish woman I believe I am, but my therapist assured me I was in no danger of losing that identity.
I have had the opportunity to make new friends this year. On my trip to Israel in November (I know, seriously, I didn't write about it? I have to do it, the trip was amazing) I met 14 women who changed my perspective on life and with whom I connected in deep ways. I am so fortunate to have been able to have that experience, and it carried me into the holiday season with new motivations and plans.
I have taken the time to enjoy my children. They are growing up so fast- I know, a terrible cliche, but so true- and I am savoring the feeling of their soft skin and little bodies. Asher will be my height in no time, but I insist on carrying him upstairs at night, even if his feet are bumping on the stairs as I go. Charlotte asks me to "carry (her) like a baby" down the stairs in the morning after we snuggle together in my bed, and I am doing it every day that she still fits in my arms. Benjamin still has the same laugh he had as a baby, and just hearing it makes me light up. I have three truly wonderful children, and I appreciate it each day.
Even prior to my trip to Israel, I felt a desire to be more connected with Judaism, and my trip cemented that desire. It is worthy of its own post, but I have always felt that being Jewish is a privilege, and with that comes the responsibility to educate my children about their history and roots. We live in such a Jewish area that it is easy to forget how few of us there are in the world at large, and I want my children to understand the bigger picture. In the coming year, my goal is to educate my children, and to reach out to their principal about Holocaust education in their elementary school.
This year also brought my sister the love of her life, and I look forward with eager anticipation to her wedding in May. Her fiancé is a perfect match for her, and the fun of wedding planning is still there, even when it isn't my wedding. (It could be that I am more excited about some details than she is... particularly registering.) There are few things more joyous than watching two people who love each other embark on a life together. Except maybe when those two people start having kids so my kids can have more cousins.
I've had the privilege of traveling overseas twice this year, plus a trip to Sedona (which was more beautiful than the pictures show) with my mom and a trip to California with Eric. We had numerous trips to family up and down the East Coast. I had a year of privilege and connection and new experiences. I look back on this year, and although it wasn't a year with rapid or groundbreaking change, it was a year of growth and and gradual shifting. I am hoping 2019 is just as wonderful!
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