I always thought that if a big birthday (like 30) fell on a Saturday I would have a great big party. Well, having 2 week-old twins has complicated matters a little. Even if I felt like we could leave them with someone (and actually, I would leave them with my parents even now, I don't know if that makes me a bad mom), we are so tired at night that I can't imagine going out!
But I have done a little reflecting on my 20s. In my 20s I: graduated from college, met my now-husband, got engaged, bought a house, got married, got my doctorate and a masters degree, got pregnant, and had twins. Not too shabby! Something tells me that my 30s will have fewer big changes and shifts, since I am now settled in a relationship and career. I think in my 30s the milestones I notice will be the ones that my boys achieve. And that's a little what this birthday is showing me, that it's no longer about me, and my life is no longer the primary focus, but these sweet little boys are. I feel so lucky to have them, and really, what better way to celebrate a birthday than to hold these babies that I wanted so badly?
I also helped Eric a little with our taxes. I went through credit card statements and highlighted our year's medical expenses. In January of 2009 I began treatment at Main Line Fertility. I saw our initial consultation, then the appointments from my first cycle, then the two weeks where I waited, then another flurry of appointments as I started a second cycle. I saw the charges for medication from the cycles. I remembered the anticipation of each cycle, the hope of getting pregnant, and then remembered the disappointment when my period inevitably came. Then I got to the July statement, and saw the appointments for our IVF. Then the appointments for ultrasound; my first, where we found out it was twins, the two emergency appointments after I had bled heavily and feared I was miscarrying; and my last, where I was discharged to my OB.
I keep thinking back to August 4, the day of my embryo transfer, where they handed me a picture of 6 embryos, 2 of them marked with little black X's:
Overall, I felt very lucky on my 30th birthday. I have everything I could want (ok, maybe except a night nurse to take care of the boys at 3 am...), and have more love and support than anyone I know.
And just so this post isn't all dull ramblings, here are pictures of the boys' first baths:
Here is Asher getting started, loving it:
And here is Ben: