Benjamin & Asher's 5th Birthday Party

Today we celebrated the boys' birthday with a gymnastics party.  For the first time ever, we had their party before their actual birthday, because the next 2 weekends are their spring break, then Passover... so now seemed like a good time to do it.

We had a big crowd, and it was one of the first drop-off parties our kids and their friends have had.  For some kids, this was hard, because they wanted their parents with them.  But most kids seemed to do really well, playing together and following instructions.  We didn't get any great pictures (what's new, I really need to learn how to use my camera!), and the kids were in constant motion!

The party attendees had 60 minutes in the gym with gymnastics teachers, playing games and jumping.  Then they had 30 minutes in the "fun factory," which is climbing, tunnels, slides, and a ball pit.  Then we did a pizza lunch.

Charlotte looking with love at her best friend, Elliott.

Asher at the head of the pack

Benjamin on the run

Charlotte

Love that face!

Not so much that one...

I have cut back on the amount of work I actually do for parties (no more homemade buffets for 60), I still made each boy a homemade birthday cake.  Asher had a vanilla giraffe, and Benjamin had a chocolate tiger.  While I don't think my neighbor who runs a cake business needs to worry about me putting her out of business, I thought I did just fine.

We got a series of pictures of our family as the boys got ready to blow out their candles:

taking candles out of the cake...

Eric loves my face in this picture- Asher had touched the hot wax on his candle, and then threw it. He is screaming, I am screaming, and the candle is flying through the air.

We are inundated with gifts.  We have barely started opening them, but so far the boys have received some very nice things.  

One of the best parts of the day was when I was helping our party "hostess" set up for lunch and she told me that all the other employees were jealous that SHE had gotten assigned to our party- everyone wanted to work our party because they all know and love the kids.  I was so pleased- it is great to hear that our kids stand out in a place that sees hundreds of kids cycle through their gymnastics program.  And that they're recognized for their good manners and sportsmanship.  That was the big gift to me!

Just a phase...

Asher walking Charlotte to the park

Boys having snack at the park

Benjamin walking Charlotte home from the park

This idea can bring me comfort, or fill me with fear.  Right now, we are in a really great phase.  I find myself enjoying the kids everyday, and taking great joy in the sweet and funny things that they say and do.  They are being great with each other- playing well, taking care of each other.  Charlotte insists on going to both boys for hugs and kisses before bed, saying "I say na-night my brothers!" The boys have been doing a lot of coloring and artwork, so instead of too much TV (which happens), they will often sit themselves down at their little table and color quietly.  They are eating well and mealtimes are less of a fight.  The boys are going to bed quietly and quickly at night and sleeping through till their alarm clock turns green.

"Hello, baby squirrels! Hello, baby birds!"

So while I use the phrase, "it's just a phase" to get me through all the phases I can barely tolerate (lying on the floor in front of the bedroom door and screaming while kicking the door rather than going to sleep in bed; waiting till after he's started pooping to tell me he needs to poop; taking off her pajamas at bedtime every night and sometimes her diaper too...), I hate to think that this easy rhythm is time-limited as well.  Once again, I'd like to freeze time and keep everything just the way it is.  Maybe just a while longer.

With the boys' 5th birthday looming, I'm going back into my overly-sentimental mommy mindset.  Remember when they were curled up tight in my belly?  Remember when they were itty bitty babies with skinny chicken legs?  Remember that time that I sat on the couch with a crying baby on each side of me, crying myself because I didn't know how to help them? Remember our first, hot summer, walking the hills of the neighborhood because it kept both boys content?  Where did the time go?  The phases we've been through- they all feel so conquerable compared to what is ahead.  The needs of babies seem so simple compared to things like the social ins-and-outs of kindergarten and managing schedules of multiple extra-curricular activities.

Will the day come where I don't look at them with wonder and awe, and marvel at who they are?  On the one hand, I hope not.  On the other, it makes me feel a little squeamish to think that my parents would still think of me that way!  In the meantime, I'm making sure to take several moments each day to capture them as they are in my mind, because I know this won't last forever.

Recent humor

Sunday: it was warm but the boys still needed snow gear

The kids have been especially funny lately.  Here are some of the things they've said:

The boys somehow created an idea called "chicken muggets," which is chicken nuggets you eat out of a coffee cup.  I'm not sure that the idea will ever take off, but I love their growing grasp of language.

Charlotte at the zoo: June 2013

Charlotte at the zoo: March 2015

We were at the zoo, visiting the monkey house, which apparently provokes many profound thoughts. The baby monkey was playing with his butt, and I told the boys "that's something people don't do."  To which Asher replied, "Yeah.  But sometimes I play with my penis."

Then Charlotte started yelling, "stinky butt! stinky butt! stinky butt!" at the monkeys.  Great.  Embarrassing.  (She learned that from me, by the way. I called her that when I was changing a horrific diaper.)  My mom and I were kind of giggling and looking the other way, and then Asher yelled, "Jesus!" Which is also something he learned from me.  My mom and I got hysterical; laughing so hard we couldn't stand up, with tears rolling down our cheeks. So, I'm pretty sure I left the zoo with a "Mother of the Year" trophy.  Except that at the exit of the zoo, where they might have awarded it to me, Charlotte fell face-first out of the stroller on to the pavement.

On Friday night we went to a Purim party and were asked to come in costume.  I was saying to Eric that I have nothing to dress up in.  Benjamin said, "Mommy, you have lots of dresses in your closet, you could wear one of those." And Asher said, "Yeah, Mommy! You could go dressed as a LADY!"  I said, "Dressed as a lady?!?! What am I now?" and he said, "A mommy."

Sunday night Eric and I had a very belated Valentine's Day date (thanks to 3 straight weekends of snow storms) and I came downstairs in a dress and heels.  Charlotte jumped up when she saw me, rushed over to hug me and said, "Whoa Mommy! You look beautiful!"  What a charmer!

In ways that I really am doing something right, Benjamin went to the grocery store with me yesterday, and the song "Lips are movin'" came on.  In the song she says, "Tell me, do you think I'm dumb?" and I sang it.  Benjamin said, "What does dumb mean, mommy?"  Hurray for no insults in our house!

Today Charlotte was having trouble settling down for nap.  She asked for her black and white kitty, and she has 3. I handed them all to her and she put the least-loved, nicest-looking one aside and said, "Not this black and white kitty."  I said, "What's wrong with that kitty?"  She picked him up and looked at him, petted him, and said, "His fur... so nice and soft.  His tail... so nice and soft.  Not want this kitty."  The girl knows her own mind, but she is a mystery to me.

Charlotte has enjoyed dressing as a ballerina (or "burinna" as she calls it) for all the Purim festivities. She is adorable in her pink tutu and gets a lot of attention for being so cute.

I've been enjoying them all a lot lately, and appreciating their personalities and abilities. Asher and Charlotte are especially fond of each other.

Asher reading to Charlotte

They have all been so creative, and resourceful.  We went outside again today (two days in a row! Outside! With sunshine!) and the boys were playing in the mud.  My instinct was to say, "Don't play in the mud!" but then I realized- why not?  It's washable.

Benjamin yelling, "pickle!" while Asher digs up our front walk.

While I was getting dinner together, Benjamin and Asher played grocery store.  They took out play food, lined it up on the counter, and pretended to buy it.  Asher counted the items, Benjamin bagged them.  They were playing nicely together, and using their brains.  

At the grocery store

After dinner, Charlotte was quietly coloring in her Hello Kitty coloring book as our friend was leaving.  We said, "Charlotte, say goodbye!" and she looked up with this face:

 and said, "Goodbye!"  I guess someone loves her markers a little too much.

I don't know if it is the change in the weather or what, but I have just been able to enjoy my family over these past few days.  They are fun and funny, and we are having a great time.

Snow day

Hopefully our last snow day of the season.  Despite my skepticism, as none of our predicted storms had turned into anything, this one really happened.  I canceled all my clients and stayed home with my 3 monkeys.

We went over to our friends' house, which is fun for the kids because it is full of other people's toys.  They played inside and made some art, and then we went out for fun in the snow.  Fun in the snow is always more fun in pictures, because in real life it is very cold, and I don't have adequate snow gear.

Charlotte thought the snow was deep, and kept asking to hold my hand

Asher in winter scenery

snow angel

In the baby swing, screaming because I wasn't pushing her

Happy because her brother pushed her

The snow wasn't great for snowman building, and we didn't have a sled. The kids played till they were cold, and then we went in for lunch.  Asher was very tired. Here they are eating their pizza:

And here they are after we said, "No dessert if you don't smile!"

We came home (we had walked there, and Eric came and drove us home) and all 3 kids napped for about 3 hours.  All day long I was itching to bake- I wanted to make scones, muffins, Irish soda bread, and/or cake, but ended up making Hamantaschen with the dough I had made a few days ago.  Asher woke up just as I was getting started and helped me.  He was a very patient helper.

Hamantaschen helper

 Charlotte also helped... She was slightly messier, and then helped herself to the dough scraps when we were done.

I have no pictures of Benjamin today, but I promise that he was here.  He was very tired all morning, so he was quiet and subdued.  He's been asking for rewards for everything- I have complimented him on his behavior as he's been a good listener and made good choices all the time, and he asked me what he can get for it.  I told him love and hugs and kisses.  He told me, "That's not something people really want."  I'm so glad he takes all that for granted.  Then he took a good nap today and asked what he could get for a good nap!

After dinner (a delicious and healthy meal that the kids refused to eat), Eric built a fire.  Asher took this picture for me. We had some good snuggles by the fire to end our day together.

It was a good day, but I am not an overly sappy "I love snow days!" kind of person.  I don't love the disruption to our schedules, I don't love that I have to go to work tomorrow, and I don't love the anxiety I get when I think about being stuck in the house with all 3 kids.  So this one snow day was enough for me, and now I am ready for it to melt and spring to arrive.

Weekend in Pictures

A weekend that was nothing remarkable, but special just the same.

eating m&ms as a treat on Friday afternoon

After my haircut with a serious Benjamin

Friday night: Dinner at Meema and Papa Nick's, followed by the boys sleeping over.  But not really sleeping, since at 11 pm they were awake and playing "office" rather than sleeping.  And up before 7.

Charlotte in fur, in memory of Grandma Sonia, who would have been 90 on Saturday

Saturday morning: I had 3 tired young things and decided the best course of action would be to go to Costco.  And no trip to Costco is complete without a princess, an astronaut, and a fireman.

Astronaut princess and Fireman Astronaut

Sharing ice cream at Costco.  Asher's not the best sharer.

Saturday afternoon: I ran 4 miles in the snow.  It was peaceful and white.

on my snowy run

Saturday night:  Eric and I were supposed to have a date night, but canceled it due to the weather.  To compensate for my disappointment, I baked a chocolate cake.  I also made a dinner of Asian-style chicken, brown rice, and broccoli while Eric took the boys sledding (Charlotte refused to take off her princess dress, so didn't go sledding).  Charlotte had 4 helpings of broccoli but refused to taste the chicken, saying, "I don't like it!"  The boys had their dessert in front of a roaring fire.

"Take my picture! I see it?"

dessert and a fire

Sunday morning: Homemade scones for breakfast.  Then a birthday party with their school friends, and naps.

Asher with a picture of me when I was 3. I am pretty sure he's my child.

lazy morning snuggles

#1 snuggle bug

Sunday evening: Eric had a work emergency, so Meema and I took the kids to a Vietnamese restaurant in South Philadelphia.  We drove into town at dusk, and the boys were exclaiming at the lights in the city and the buildings. They laughed at the row homes that all touch each other.  It was as if we had never been in the city before! But even to me, the city looked particularly appealing.

A month or so ago, Eric and I had taken the kids out to dinner on a Saturday night, which consisted of the kids ordering food that they didn't actually want to eat; my gobbling my food so quickly I didn't even know if I liked it; and ended with Charlotte lying on her belly on the floor of the restaurant and "swimming," which led to me yelling, "Get off the floor! You are not a snake!"  I then told Eric, "now I remember why we don't eat out!"

Tonight was, fortunately, completely different.  Everyone sat in their own chair, and everyone ate their own food.  In fact, they ate more Vietnamese food than they ate of the traditional American stuff they'd chosen at the last restaurant!  We ordered wide rice noodles stir-fried with chicken and broccoli for the kids, and my mom and I shared a couple of other dishes, including a Vietnamese crepe, which was almost like an omelet stuffed with meat and some vegetables and bean sprouts.  Charlotte and Benjamin tried and enjoyed it! I was thrilled!  All 3 kids loved their noodle dish and the plate was empty at the end of the meal.  Asher had a great idea to wrap some of the chicken from his dish up in one of the rice paper wrappers from my dish- he put in some rice as well, and ate it up.  I loved watching them try new things and be inventive with how they ate it.  Benjamin was also using chopsticks.  I was so proud of them!

After dinner, we went next door to the Asian market so I could stock up on noodles since everyone in our family loves noodles.  The kids were fascinated by the fish, produce, and meat, and then played tag in the other aisles.  They were a little nuts in the car on the way home, but it was a successful evening.

Trying Vietnamese crepe- and liking it!

Eating rice, chicken, and noodles.

Milestones

We have had a few milestones in the past week or so.  Last week, Asher got sent home from school.  The teacher called Eric at about 3:30 (which is the end of the school day) to tell Eric to come get Asher.  She sent Asher home with a long note detailing all of his wrongs (he said NO, NO, NO!; got upset when she put him at the back of the line; he tried to help clean up hula hoops when it wasn't his turn; wouldn't stay quiet at quiet time).  I know I am unable to look at the situation objectively, but is that truly grounds for dismissal?  It is definitely attitude, and when he gets smarmy with Eric and me, we get annoyed.  But in the realm of 4 year-old behavior, is that truly so awful?  Anyway, we got our first "sent home from school for misbehavior."

Reading stories with Uncle Richard on Friday night

Then- on Friday night, Benjamin picked up the phone at my parents' house and called 911. The police called back and my mom reassured them that everyone was fine, but apparently they still have to send someone out to check.  A friendly policeman showed up just as we were serving dessert, and Benjamin was mortified.  He started to cry, and wouldn't look the policeman in the eye. Fortunately the policeman didn't seem upset; he seemed quiet pleased to see us sitting around as a family.  I offered him a cupcake but he refused.

Charlotte and Asher in French pajamas from Meema. Delicious and sweet after a trying day

Other than these 2 milestones, which I could live without, we are trying to sort out the coming year.  The boys will go into public kindergarten at the school across the street, but it's only half-day kindergarten. So I have had to figure out the other half day of their care.  There are two close by options, but one is considered better than the other (although of course they are both great). One morning I got up at 4:45 to go sign the kids up for the "better" program.  Lucky us, they made it in- kind of.  The secretary managed to throw out Asher's paperwork and only admit Benjamin, but they have agreed to admit Asher because they feel bad about their mistake.

I have thought about putting Charlotte in a different preschool; there have been administrative and management problems at our current school that we could live without.  I called around and got prices, and found that our school is the least expensive for the most flexibility.  I toured another school nearby, and it was really nice, but $2800 more for the school year (9 months of 2 half days and 1 full day/week).  It seems like we're staying put.  But I don't worry too much about Charlotte- she doesn't let herself get pushed around, and seems to have a great deal of charm and charisma.

Spunky Monkey in Papa Nick's hat

Then, I decided to switch pediatricians.  We followed our pediatrician through his second move, but he has joined a big family practice and residency and now only works 2 days a week.  When I call the office, I often have to wait 10 minutes just to talk to a receptionist, and there's no nurse's line to ask nervous mommy questions. It doesn't have the small, personal feel that I fell in love with at his previous two offices.  It was a hard decision, because I really like the doctor and had hoped that he would see my children through their whole lives, but I need somewhere where I can have more access to nurses and care.  So we are switching again, for what I hope is the last time!

Waking up from a nap snuggle

 We had our first real snow day of the winter yesterday.  The kids stayed home, but I went in to work in the afternoon.  We got to do some sledding at a friend's house before I went.  The boys had a lot of fun, but Charlotte didn't like the cold and wet very much.  I am hoping for one good snow, preferably on the weekend, where we can do some real sledding and snowman building.  Other than that- I can't wait for spring.

Snow babies