August 4

August 4, 2009:  I woke up, went for a peaceful walk, showered, and dressed in a cute little dress.  I drank a lot of water, and Eric and I got in the car and drove to Main Line Fertility.  There we waited until our names were called, and went back to the embryo transfer room.  The embryologist opened a little window in the wall and handed a photo over to our doctor, who showed us: six embryos, grown to blastocyst stage, two of them marked with an "x."

"I recommend you transfer these two," he told us.

We had already agreed if we made it to a 5-day transfer, we would transfer two embryos, at most.  So we said, "ok!" because I really wanted to be pregnant, and thought two embryos would increase my chances.

I lay down, and using the ultrasound machine, my doctor transferred those two little embryos into my uterus.  He showed us on the screen where they were, and printed a picture of my uterus with a white spot in it.  I stayed lying down for 30 minutes, then leaped up to pee, and off we went.

I spent the day in bed, on bed rest.  Eric and my parents and I had a picnic in the bedroom, turkey burgers and corn on the cob.  I felt peaceful, optimistic, and relaxed.

August 4, 2010: I woke up at 1:30, Asher was hungry.  Seriously hungry!  He ate for 10 minutes and usually only nurses for about 5.  I went back to sleep.  I woke up again at 3: Benjamin was hungry.  Eric fed him, I pumped.  He wouldn't go back to sleep, so he came into our bed and I nursed him.  Asher woke up from Benjamin's screaming.  Benjamin went back to his crib, Asher came into our bed and I nursed him.  At 4, we all went back to sleep.

At 7:30, we were all up for the day.  Breakfast and baby talk.  Then a nap for the boys, a run to the grocery store, dirty diapers all around...  We went out for sushi for lunch (only I ate sushi, the boys had breast milk, as usual) and Benjamin screamed!  We came back to my parents' house, where I enforced afternoon nap time, which is still going on right now.

A busy day, and not very peaceful (except for nap time).  What a difference a year makes!  I cannot believe that one year ago we made a decision that brought us these two babies and completely changed our lives.  Sometimes I wonder, what if I had decided to transfer only one embryo?  Who would it be?  I wouldn't know what I was missing, but I love both these babies so much that I can't imagine life without either of them.  Now that I have these healthy babies, it is hard to remember that I didn't think our IVF would work.  One year ago today I began my pregnancy, what a day that was.