26 weeks (and 1 day)

I should specify that the top of the bump is dinner, and the bottom is the baby. We ate a lot for dinner at my aunt and uncle's tonight because it is the start of Rosh Hashanah.

To compare, below is my belly picture from 26 weeks with the boys:

I think I'm bigger with one than I was with two!  I am really struggling with the way I look.  I know there is nothing I can do- I don't eat much more than when I am not pregnant- just an extra snack some days when I get hungry or lightheaded.  I don't eat anything crazy- no fast food, no junk food, no high-fat or high-calorie indulgences other than my dessert at night, which I ate before I was pregnant.  And yet I am expanding at a rate much faster than I did in my last pregnancy, when I was desperate to put on weight and had people bringing in things like Frostys for me!

I feel so vain and silly for complaining about it, but it is really hard for me to feel so out of control.  I am kind of used to a more direct correlation between intake and weight/size.  14 more weeks and then I will head in the other direction, I guess.

I had an appointment at the OB on Friday, and I don't feel great about things.  Again I didn't look at the scale.  The baby's heartbeat is good and strong, and I feel her move all the time.  There are two OBs in the practice- I like them both, but have a special affection for the OB who delivered my boys, Dr. G.  Yesterday I saw Dr. C, the other OB, who was the one who discovered my shortened cervix with my boys.  He decided to do an ultrasound check of my cervix, which I haven't had since 20 weeks.  At 20 weeks, my cervix was measuring around 4 cm, which was longer than it ever had in my pregnancy with my guys.  Yesterday, Dr C measured my cervix at about 3.1 cm.

I feel worried- he said that is completely within the realm of normal, and that I have no restrictions and shouldn't worry, but I guess I had in my head I wanted it to be 3.5 or higher.  Dr C did say that it is on the lower end of normal, but that statistically, even with this measurement, I am highly unlikely to go into labor or deliver prior to 34 weeks (early, but not the end of the world).  That, and the fact that I carried the boys to 36 weeks, makes him feel confident everything is fine.

Both Eric and my mom feel there isn't anything to worry about, that he is a specialist and can be trusted.    I go back in 2 weeks for another check.  I am trying to keep in mind that if I were "normal," and not a patient at a high-risk practice, I wouldn't know my cervical length in centimeters and wouldn't even be thinking about this.  I go back in two weeks for another appointment, and I'm assuming I'll have another ultrasound.  I am not sure if the amount of information is helpful to me, I think knowing absolute numbers gets me more worried.

I should add that when Dr C discovered my shortened cervix in my last pregnancy, he was very serious with me about what to do and going on bed rest.  He insisted I get the steroid shots for the boys' lungs at the earliest possible date- which is technically 24 weeks, but I got the first shot at 23w6d.  So I know Dr C is not a casual, wait-and-see kind of guy.  This does make me feel a little better.

In more fun and less whiney news, my mom and I took the boys on a walk and went past a neighbor's house, having a yard sale yesterday.  Apparently they have twin girls who are a little older than my guys, and there was a ton of adorable baby girl clothing!  I bought a bunch of stuff and the mom charged me $5 for all of it:

When Eric saw it all, he said I am clearly a mother-of-sons in recovery. I can't get anything that isn't pink!  I love the ruffles, the pink, the flowers, the hearts... I have waited a long time to buy these clothes!

How far along?  26 weeks
Total weight gain/loss?  Pretty sure more than I had gained with the boys at this point.
Maternity clothes?  Everything maternity, except for a couple of loose summer dresses and long tank tops.
Pregnancy symptoms?  Fatigue, occasional crabbiness.  Today my mom wanted to hang up on me because I was grouchy on the phone. I told her I was only being grouchy because she was pissing me off.  That was the end of that conversation!  And maybe a little more emotional.  The other week I was crying while listening to Democratic National Convention speeches, and I don't mean tearing up, I mean sobbing and nose-blowing.
Stretch marks? Nothing new.
Sleep?  It's still the same pattern- I can fall asleep ok, but then wake up at some point, for some reason, and have trouble falling back to sleep.  Every once in a while I will sleep straight through til 6 am or so, getting 7 solid hours, but that still leaves me a little tired.
Best moment last week? Apple picking with the boys, and Asher coming home and saying, "Lily, pick apples.  Mama pick apples."
Movement?  I get regular movement.  On Friday we were at our friend's house and there were 2 goldfish in a bowl, the way they swam reminded me of the way some of her movements feel.  She still has a lot of room in there and moves around much more than what I ever got to feel with the boys, who were pinned into place pretty early on.
Food cravings? No big cravings, mainly fruit.  And I have made a point of asking my mom everyday if she is making an orange-scented challah for Rosh Hashanah.
Gender? Still female, although no further exploration has been done.
Labor signs? No signs of labor, although I am not pleased by the shortened cervix. I do have Braxton-Hicks every day, but the doctor said that is normal.
Belly button in/out? In.
What I miss: Sleeping on my back. I can still find a way to kind of sleep on my belly, but I get short of breath on my back.
What I am looking forward to: all the delicious holiday meals in the coming week or so!
Milestones: Apparently I have fewer than 100 days left of the pregnancy, so that is exciting.  And this week I will go into the 3rd trimester, which is also a nice milestone!