Friday, April 12, 2013

Goodbye, Grandma Sonia

My grandma Sonia died today.  She was 88.  She died in bed, with my grandpa, her husband of 69 years, holding her hand, and my mom and dad, aunt and uncle next to her.

What a loss.  In some ways, I have already mourned her.  As she faded away, she was less and less the grandmother I knew most of my life, and the woman I want to remember.  But up to the end, she was loving and generous to her core.  The last thing she did this morning was to sign a check to start Charlotte's college fund.

I took the boys to visit Sonia and David on Monday afternoon.  We'd been at a playground near their residence, and Asher asked to visit.  My first response was to say no, because I was hot and sweaty.  But Asher wouldn't take no for an answer, and asked again.  So I said yes.  Thank goodness.  Grandma was up and alert, lying on the couch in her living room.  She was clearly happy to see the kids.  She told me she'd attend Charlotte's baby naming, which was to be later this month.  I hugged her goodbye and gave her a kiss and a squeeze of the hand before we left.  I really thought I'd see her again.  I'm glad that Asher pushed us to visit, and that my last memory of my grandmother is a pleasant and happy one.

I'm sad my children won't know her the way I did.  I'm sad that she and Charlotte had so little time together.  I imagine that they would have been close, just as Sonia and I were.  It is the cycle of life, that Charlotte should grow and thrive as her great-grandparents age and pass away.

My poor grandfather looked so forlorn when I saw him tonight.  I cannot imagine him sleeping alone in the double bed that they shared for the entirety of their marriage- from a time when couples still slept in separate twin beds until a time when couples slept in one bed of increasing size.  They were each others' constant companion.  The night I took Grandpa David to the ER in October, she called me several times to check on him, even though I delivered him home by midnight.  And when I got there, she was still sitting up, waiting for him.  What will he do without Grandma to wait for him?  It is impossible to imagine one of them without the other.

How lucky I am to have known, and had such a wonderful relationship with, my grandmother.  And I'm happy that she met all 3 of my children.  I will miss her so much.  I still can't believe she's truly gone- she was fine on Monday, fine this morning, and now I'll never see her again.  She meant so much to so many, and will be missed by us all.

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