First I will start with bad news-- my friend took her son off the ventilator yesterday. She has lost both of her beautiful children. I am devastated, so sad for her and for her family. And I know that what I feel is nothing compared to her suffering right now.
There is good news and happiness, though. Benjamin and Asher are thriving and developing everyday! In the past week, we have had nice, long stretches of sleep from both of them. Two nights in a row, Benjamin slept from 8:30 to 5, and then Asher slept from 8:30 to 6:30 one night, and to 5:30 the next. Last night they both woke up once, Ben at 3:30 and Asher at 4. So, maybe last night wasn't the miracle the previous nights were, but I feel like we're headed in the right direction with sleep, and that is reassuring. There is a light at the end of the fatigue tunnel.
This picture is from my perspective after a tandem nursing session. Some of these sessions are better than others. In the better sessions, both babies eat and get full and then lie there looking up at me like the cutie pies that they are. In the not-so-good sessions, Ben can't stay latched and he starts to cry and wave his fists, hitting Asher and knocking him off, and then Asher cries and they are both still hungry at the end of it... But I love getting to sit there and look at both of my babies' beautiful faces. Especially in light of the bad news this week, I feel so lucky and can't believe these two perfect boys are my children to love forever.
They have also started to roll over. So this is wonderful as a sign of their development, but not so wonderful when it is nap time and we put them down on their tummies... today I was running back and forth turning them back to their tummies (and yes, they sleep on their tummies, go on and tell the Parenting Police, but the boys love it and sleep so well), and while I was with Asher, Ben would flip, I would turn Ben back and Asher would flip... And they look so funny doing it, like little fish flopping around, then so surprised and unhappy on their backs with their legs in the air. Now they just need to learn to go from back to tummy so that they don't have to cry!
They are so different. Asher is quieter, and generally only cries if he is hungry or genuinely upset (or if it's bath time). Benjamin cries more than Asher, and often without provocation. Today I went to Trader Joe's with the boys, and Benjamin cried the whole way there, then stopped and sat quietly, watching everything with his big beautiful blue eyes while we were in the store. We left, I put the groceries in the car, and then Benjamin in the car, and then he screamed the whole way home. Asher smiles more than Benjamin. Of course I worry that Benjamin is unhappy, but I think he is just a more serious person. I was a serious child, and when I think about it, there are not many pictures of me smiling as a baby. They are both loved and held and cared for, so it is a great argument for nature over nurture.
Here are pictures of the boys from this past week. Benjamin, being serious and showing off his chubby cheeks: