35w picture and a long weekend

35 weeks

On Friday I started to feel like maybe things were finally starting to calm down.  After play group at our house and lunch out with Meema, both boys went down for a nap and I found myself without my laptop, without my work files, and without anything that needed to be done.  And I took a nap!  It was wonderful.

But after nap, Asher woke up feverish.  And he's been kind of under the weather ever since.  With advil he seems pretty much himself, but as it wears off he gets cranky, clingy, and whiny.  And he definitely feels warm!  We don't have a working thermometer, the one we had that was closest to working has been packed away somewhere, but of course I can feel when he's hot.  I'll be calling the doctor in the morning, and knowing them, they'll tell me to bring the boys in.  Benjamin woke up from his nap today feeling really warm, too.  His mood was fine until bedtime when he started to cry and just seemed ready to get in bed.

I was supposed to go out for dinner for Meema's birthday, which was today, but I backed out because I feel so tired myself, and really don't want to get whatever my little guys might have.  I am scheduled to work Monday and Tuesday before I take the rest of the week off for Thanksgiving, and if the boys wake up sick tomorrow I'm not sure if they can go in to school on Tuesday.  UGH.  Sometimes being a working mom is a little harder than others.

We also had another open house today.  While there has been a fair amount of traffic in our house, no one has made an offer yet.  Is it unrealistic to think that someone might have wanted to snap it up right away?  I know it's only been on the market for 10 days, but I think it's time for someone to buy it.  It would sure make me feel better!

The money stuff has me so stressed out right now.  We already felt stressed out paying preschool tuition (all due within the first 4 months of school) and paying for our new roof, and now we are adding to it all the little odds and ends to fix up our house to have it on the market, as well as our deposit on our new house.  I feel like an ostrich, and just want to bury my head in the sand and not look at our bank account or credit card bill.

And, we heard that Eric's grampa is not well.  I am a little in denial, or maybe trying to be in denial, because he is such a sweet man and I could not stand if something happened to him.  Of course, he is 88, so is at an age where little things add up quickly and big things can be devastating.  My grandpa Sy is also in the hospital but my dad has very little information, so I am not sure what is happening or what his prognosis is.  I guess the downside to our having 6 grandparents between us is that they are aging, and one day we will lose them.  In some sense, I am prepared- as I have said before, my grandparents have faded significantly over the years and I have already mourned the loss of who they used to be.  But still, I hate that they might suffer, and that I am still losing them more and more.

As far as the pregnancy goes- I am having a lot more Braxton-Hicks contractions.  I am definitely feeling less comfortable.  At the same time, I know I will never be pregnant again, and I am trying to enjoy the positive aspects of the pregnancy- like feeling her move all the time and that feeling of having a life inside of me- it is such a privilege.

I have my 36 week appointment a few days early this week because of the holiday.  I'll have my Group B Strep test, and I'm undecided as to whether I'll get or refuse an internal.  I am beginning to wish I had a crystal ball and knew when this baby was coming so I could plan accordingly, but I don't think an internal will actually give me any answers.  Regardless, it might really be time to start getting ready!

So it has been a rough couple of days, with a lot of not-so-hot news.  I just feel overwhelmed, I think I keep telling myself "ok, just get through x and you'll be fine... just get through y and you'll be fine..." but it is like being on a treadmill- there is no real end in sight at this point.  Right now, I want to get to Thursday and enjoy my family and be thankful- and eat turkey.