So I realized while I was writing yesterday's post that my next "milestone" of 28 weeks is way too far off for a person who is actually counting every single day as a milestone. And that's the truth-- every morning, my first thought when I wake up is, "I'm still pregnant!" and then I think about how far along I am, and how my boys' chances of survival are better than the day before. I decided I need some more mini-goals to look forward to and give me a sense that I'm making progress. Here is what I have:
January 20: I will enter the 3rd trimester
January 28: 28 weeks and my next growth scan. Come on and grow, babies!
February 6: My mom returns from Asia. I promised I would still be pregnant at this point. I will be 29w2d.
February 15 (approximately): My in-laws are coming to visit. My mother-in-law will keep me company and paint the nursery. She also said she will do some cleaning, and she is a serious cleaner. Her house is immaculate and puts everyone else to shame.
February 25: 32 weeks and a growth scan.
I am also having a fantasy that at a certain point, say 34 or 35 weeks, if I am still pregnant (and my fingers are crossed that I will be!) I will be allowed to start doing some more activities. It would be wonderful to have a week or two to just run some errands or move around the house getting ready for the babies. I have no concept of how large I'll be at that point. I am still not that big, and pretty comfortable when I am standing up, but I hope that the babies have a lot more growing to do!
Today Eric did me a favor and took all the paperwork that I've been hanging on to from my job over to my supervisor. This is a big relief, in a way. There's no real need for me to have it in my possession, especially since I have not worked in almost a month now and probably won't be working again for another 4 months. Every time I saw it, it made me feel guilty. In part because I hadn't done all the paperwork I needed to do and was procrastinating on doing it... The down side is that now I really have nothing remotely intellectual or productive that I need to do. I think part of me was hanging on to it because it was a connection with work and a professional identity, versus my current identity as "woman who does not need an outfit fancier than yoga pants." After 4 years of college, 5 years of graduate school, and getting my doctorate, it feels awfully silly to lie down and watch re-runs of 90210. But, I am trying to remind myself that not only is it temporary, but it is the last time I'll be able to be a vegetable for a very, very long time.